Buddy Ebsen credited as playing...
Jed Clampett
- Daisy Moses: She's from one of those fur'n nations.
- Jed Clampett: Which one?
- Daisy Moses: Minneapolis... Wisconsin.
- Jed Clampett: [Gloria is teaching Jed a new dance] What did you say this one was called?
- Gloria Buckles: It's called the twist.
- Jed Clampett: Feller was to dance this in the fresh-plowed field, he'd auger his way right into the ground.
- Elly May Clampett: Pa, ain't you gonna marry up with that city woman?
- Jed Clampett: No Elly. Us old foxes is trap-shy, especially when the bait goes to chasin' us.
- Jed Clampett: Pearl, go on ahead. Women and children first. That's the rule.
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: That's the rule for fire, flood, and deesaster.
- Jed Clampett: [in a low voice] Well it seems to me Granny's tonic oughta fit in there somewheres.
- Daisy Moses: I heared what you said, Jed Clampett, and just for that, when it comes your turn, you're gonna get a double dose.