Buddy Ebsen credited as playing...
Jed Clampett
- Daisy Moses: You know where my mink coat is right now?
- Jed Clampett: Where?
- Daisy Moses: In the top of a tree, full a baby eagles.
- Jed Clampett: Now, Granny...
- Daisy Moses: Their mama and me fought fer nigh onto ten minutes for that coat, but with them claws on her, she could get a better purchase on it.
- John Brewster: You say your grandfather built this cabin?
- Jed Clampett: He sure did.
- John Brewster: Well, he must have been a remarkable man.
- Jed Clampett: He sure was. He finished the cabin in the mornin', went to town, found a girl, courted her, married her, and carried her across that doorstep all before sundown. Tell me, Granny, was that eighteen and ninety-seven or eighteen and ninety-eight?
- Daisy Moses: Eighteen... and ninety-eight.
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, that's right. She was 18 and Grandpa was 98.
- John Brewster: You say he was 98 and his bride was 18?
- Jed Clampett: That's right. Marriage didn't work out too good.
- John Brewster: I don't doubt it.
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, Grandpa made the mistake of havin' his Ma come live with them.
- Jed Clampett: Whacha cookin' tomorrow, Granny?
- Daisy Moses: My special Christmas holiday vittles: We'll start with red cabbage and green turnip tops swimmin' with sorghum, then what I call my Heavenly Hash, that's grits and chitlins, possum belly, hog jowls, and catfish, all minced together and simmered in gopher gravy, topped with poached hawk eggs.
- Jed Clampett: Mmm-mmm, now there's vittles you won't forget in a hurry.
- John Brewster: I'll try.
- Daisy Moses: I still don't mind sharin' a bed with Elly May, but I draw the line when it comes to sharin' with them others.
- Jed Clampett: What others?
- Daisy Moses: Well there was a owl, and a squirrel, a crow, and a fox, a possum, and a skunk, and a porkypine.