Elizabeth Montgomery credited as playing...
Samantha Stephens
- Barbara: [the very attractive job applicant] Here are references from the last five husbands I worked for.
- Samantha Stephens: Don't references generally come from the wives?
- Barbara: Not in my case. Somehow I always seem to establish better rapport with the husbands. Isn't that funny?
- Samantha Stephens: Hysterical!
- Naomi: Do you know what working for you is like?
- Samantha Stephens: What?
- Naomi: It's like all of a sudden I've found my good fairy.
- [first lines]
- Samantha Stephens: [thinking Darrin is Endora] Mother!
- [turning around and seeing it is Darrin]
- Samantha Stephens: Oh, hi, sweetheart.
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: [applying for the Stevens maid job] My terms are as follows: I do no cooking, washing, ironing or heavy cleaning. I arise at nine a.m. I have every Saturday and Sunday off. Leaving at noon on Friday and returning at noon on Monday. My room must have a color television set. And I reserve the right to choose my own wallpaper.
- Samantha Stephens: I see. Now about references...
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: Yes, I'll look at them now.
- Samantha Stephens: [surprised] You want to see my references?
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: From former housekeepers.
- Samantha Stephens: Well, I'm afraid there haven't been any.
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: Uuuh... That's bad. I have a rule against working for beginners.
- Samantha Stephens: Well, in that case, I won't take up any...
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: However, if I decide you have possibilities, I might make an exception.
- Samantha Stephens: How do you decide if I have possibilities?
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: I inspect how neat you keep your kitchen.
- Samantha Stephens: Well, I don't think that'll be necessary. I, I'm sure I don't come up to your standards.
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: I'll be the judge of that. Now, where is it?
- Samantha Stephens: What?
- Mrs. Luftwaffe: The kitchen.
- Samantha Stephens: Oh. Follow me.
- [twitches her nose to make the kitchen extremely messy]
- Samantha Stephens: Right that way.