Regina King credited as playing...
Huey Freeman • Riley Freeman
- Huey: Watch closely. You are about to experience a "nigga moment". Webster defines the "nigga moment" as a moment when ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical Negro male. Causing him to act in an illogical, self-destructive manner... i.e. like a nigga.
- Uncle Ruckus: Ah, between me and you, your granddaddy shouldn't be too worried. Everybody knows niggas can't fight.
- Huey: I'm sorry?
- Uncle Ruckus: You heard me, nigga, niggas can't fight. They don't possess the strength of character or the mental quickness to be a great fighter. That's why all the best fighters in the world have always been white men. Jack Dempsey, Rocky Marciano, Sly-vester Stallone, and don't forget Ralph Macchio! Name me one great, black, heavyweight fighter. Name one, go ahead, try, name one. See there? Ya can't do it. What, what what, what? Oh, oh, oh, oh you wanna pull Ali out yo' ass? That what you thinkin' 'bout? Muhammad Ali? Well, if that nigga so tough, then why he didn't go to Vietnam? I'll tell you why. 'Cause he was scared, that's why. Shoot. "No Vietnamese ever called me nigga." I call him a nigga eight times before I have breakfast, now what he gon' do? Hold on, I'll make it nine... NIGGA!
- Huey: If Nigga Moments had their own category, Nigga Moments would be the third leading killer of black men behind pork chops and F.E.M.A. It's a fact.
- Huey: I've said it before, expensive sneakers are like a $150 land mines. Step on one and BOOM! A perfectly rational black man can explode.
- Riley Freeman: Granddad, Rodney King just called and said, "Damn! I thought I got *my* ass whupped." Ah ha ha.
- Huey: Stinkmeaner got no pleasure seeing sunsets or trees, dolphins or rainbows.
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: [Looking at a rainbow over a sunset over the ocean with dolphins] Man, this some ol' bullshit!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [at Stinkmeaner's bent handicapped sign, praying] Lord, please forgive us for takin' this man's life.
- Riley Freeman: Why you say us? You killed him.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Shut yo ass and pray, boy.
- Huey: That night I dreamt of a blind swordsman. He knows my every move yet he can not see. As my mind fights to make sense of the impossible, he has turned my sight into a liability. He has no just cause to want my life. There is no forethought, no logic in his actions. This isn't just any swordsman. This is the blind nigga samurai.
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: What's good, nigga? What's really good?
- Huey: [wakes up in a cold sweat] Niggas!
- Riley Freeman: How bad you gotta telegraph your punches for a blind nigga to see you coming, Granddad?
- Huey: Riley, the man obviously had a heightened sense of hearing.
- Riley Freeman: Oh, I thought Granddad had a heightened sense of falling.
- Huey Freeman: If they had their own category, nigga moments would be the third leading killer of Black men, behind pork-chops and F.E.M.A.
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: What you gonna do, nigga? What you gonna DO?
- Riley Freeman: Aw HELL naw. Granddad, let's kick this nigga's ass right now!