James Marsters credited as playing...
Spike
- Spike: Harm, what are you doing?
- Harmony Kendall: I'm writing "Spike loves Harmony" on your back.
- Spike: Why?
- Harmony Kendall: I don't know, it's fun. I'm bored. You can write on me.
- Spike: I've got to get back to work.
- Harmony Kendall: You love that tunnel more than me.
- Spike: I love syphilis more than you.
- [Buffy runs into Spike and Harmony at a fraternity party]
- Buffy Summers: What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?
- Spike: Maybe I dumped her!
- Harmony Kendall: She left him for a Fungus Demon. That's all he talks about most days.
- Harmony Kendall: Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
- Spike: No.
- Harmony Kendall: Can I make him a vampire?
- Spike: No. On second thought, yes. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.
- Harmony Kendall: Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool! Can we eat a doctor so I can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?
- Spike: Harm, what does it take to get you
- [screaming]
- Spike: to shut the hell up?
- Harmony Kendall: [Harmony giggles] And if my heart's not beating, what are these blue veins for? I'm simply covered in these blue veins. See?
- Spike: [wearing the Gem of Amarra] What a fantastic day. Birds singin', squirrels makin' lots of rotton little squirrels... sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. I can't wait to see if I freckle.
- Spike: [to Harmony] Listen to me... you stupid bint... this gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass.
- Spike: What exactly did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees?
- Buffy Summers: [with disdain] You're a pig, Spike.
- Spike: [In bed with Harmony] We've got an extra set of chains
- Harmony Kendall: Eww, just because Dorkus went in for that...
- Spike: [Grabs her hair] Drusilla!
- Harmony Kendall: Whatever
- Spike: Say her name
- Harmony Kendall: Dorkus
- Spike: Bite your tongue
- Harmony Kendall: Do it for me
- [They kiss]