Woody Harrelson credited as playing...
Woody Boyd
- Woody Boyd: It's a memory quilt that all the women in my family made for me when I graduated from high school.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, I've heard of these things. A bunch of women get together and embroider patches that string together the happy memories of a young man's life.
- Cliff Clavin: So these women were authentic folk artists then, huh?
- Woody Boyd: No, just bored housewives.
- Woody Boyd: Hey, check this out. See this soft blue square here? This is a piece of my very first baby blanket.
- Norm Peterson: Now, what do those little dots signify?
- Woody Boyd: Oh, that represents my very first childhood disease: smallpox. I almost died.
- Cliff Clavin: Uh, what's that long green thing there?
- Woody Boyd: Oh, this is the bean stalk from my very first high school play. I fell off it during the first act, cracked two ribs and punctured a lung. I almost died.
- Woody Boyd: Oh, this red patch here represents the big fire that burned down my house when I was six.
- Norm Peterson: And what, you almost died?
- Woody Boyd: No, I got out. And while I was running away, I fell in this well right here, and I almost...
- [pauses]
- Woody Boyd: Well, you know.
- [Frasier walks into the bar wearing an overcoat that's obviously concealing something underneath]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Hello, everyone!
- Rebecca Howe: Hi, Frasier! Are you through with the bris?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes! Yes! Yes! My son is happy, healthy, and nowhere in the vicinity of this bar. OUCH! Say, just out of curiosity, now, does anyone in the bar happen to be lactating, and in need of some quick cash?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Heading toward Sam's office] Well, if so, just meet me in the office. Ouch!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Talking to the coat] Damn it, Frederick! Give it up! It's just not going to happen!
- Woody Boyd: [to Rebecca] You know what? I think he's got the baby under that coat.