Rhea Perlman credited as playing...
Carla Tortelli
- [Carla doesn't want to manage the bar in Sam's absence]
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Oh, no, no, no, not me. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like responsibility.
- Norm Peterson: What are you talking about? You have eight children.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Well, I wouldn't if I were responsible.
- Cliff Clavin: You know, there's a lot of misunderstanding about rats. The rodendus vermikitis as they're called in Latin. It turns out our long tailed friend wasn't after all responsible for the dreaded bubonic plague as alleged through history. Yes, sir. It was caused by an animal called the bubon. That's right, and the threat by the way is still with us. So if anyone does see a bubon, contact your local authorities.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: [looking straight at Cliff] What if we just see a boob?
- [Carla has decided to visit Sam while he's on the road pitching for the Red Sox' farm team]
- Sam Malone: Who's taking care of the bar?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Rebecca.
- Sam Malone: [in a panic] Oh my God!
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Ah, I'm just kidding. No one!
- Sam Malone: [with a sense of relief] Ah, ah. You scared me there for a second.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Maybe, you should give it a little more time, Sammy. I mean, you've only been here a few weeks. Hey look, you can't quit now, I'm not going to let you.
- Sam Malone: Come on, Carla. You've supported me in all my other decisions... except for maybe, you know, going out with Diane, and selling the bar, then hiring Rebecca and you know deciding to have a kid with her and everything.
- Sam Malone: [angrily] What the hell kind of friend are you anyway?