George Wendt credited as playing...
Norm Peterson
- Norm Peterson: Sammy, I just want to say this because you're my friend. Don't get all defensive, but maybe you are drinking a little more than you should.
- Sam Malone: Well, so are you.
- Norm Peterson: I already have a mother, lush face.
- Norm Peterson: Coach, you've had kids. Does a baby change you?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Are you kidding Normie, it can't even change itself.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [Bar phone rings, Coach answers] Cheers! Uh huh. Yup, I'll give him the message. Normie, it's Vera, she says to hurry home - her cycle is at its peak.
- Norm Peterson: Again? Her cycle has more peaks than the Adirondacks.
- Cliff Clavin: All systems are go there, big fella.
- Norm Peterson: Even Secretariat got to wait till he was in the mood once in a while.
- [Exits bar to most of them singing "Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it"]
- Norm Peterson: Well, I'm back.
- [Chorus of 'Norm!']
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: What'll it be, Normie?
- Norm Peterson: A transfusion with a head on it.
- Carla Tortelli: Norman, are you sure you want to have a kid? You know, once the monster comes along, your whole life is gonna be different.
- Norm Peterson: Yeah?
- Carla Tortelli: Yeah!
- Norm Peterson: Coach, you've had kids - does a baby change you?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: You kidding, Normie? It can't even change itself!