Woody Harrelson credited as playing...
Woody Boyd
- Woody Boyd: Boy, this is a big night for me. Who wants to help me paint the town?
- Norm Peterson, Cliff Clavin, Pete: Oh, hey, all right.
- Norm Peterson: Oh, hey let's go.
- Cliff Clavin: Hey, where we going Wood?
- Woody Boyd: To the theater. I'm in charge of scenery and I've got to paint the town.
- Woody Boyd: I'm playing George Gibbs from Our Town, kind of a naive small town guy who's a little shy and sort of backward. Can you believe they chose me?
- Woody Boyd: Wait, this is a misunderstanding.
- Emily: Yeah, listen to him.
- Kelly Gaines: [to Emily] You stay out of this!
- Cliff Clavin: Oh, Woody's babes comin' ta blows!
- [the guys at the bar all start chanting "Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight!"]
- Kelly Gaines: [after Emily blocks the door, keeping her from leaving] You get out of my way right now or so help me I'll, I'll, I'll hurt your feelings!
- Emily: You do, and I'll hurt yours right back.
- [the guys at the bar turn away, realizing the fight's gone 'tame,' chanting "Kitten fight. Kitten fight. Kitten fight."]
- [Emily and Woody are rehearsing a romantic scene. Emily kisses Woody, when Kelly walks in. Kelly has no idea Woody is in a play]
- Kelly Gaines: Woody. I can't believe it.
- Woody Boyd: Oh wait Kelly. It's not what it looks like.
- Kelly Gaines: Don't make excuses, Woody. Now I see what's going on. You're busy every night and you won't tell me why. I walk in here and find you two kissing in the back room of a bar. It all adds up. You're in a play and you didn't even tell me.
- [Kelly rushes out. Woody chases after her]
- Woody Boyd: Wait, maybe I was just cheating on you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, yes. It's the only time I seriously considered giving up psychology. For--For the arts. But I couldn't disappoint my father. No, sir. Not him. I remember opening night. I stared breathlessly out from behind the curtain to see-- To see if he'd taken the seat i'd left for him. But he was too busy with his experiments to show up. Always involved with those damned experiments.
- Norm Peterson: Dad was a scientist, huh?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No, he was a white rat. Of course he was a scientist, you nit! You see, my father wanted me to go into psychology. He insisted on it. At the time, I hated him for it. And he died before I had a chance to realize that he was right. And I never got to tell him. It's funny, isn't it?
- Woody Boyd: [chuckles] That's a good one all right, Dr. Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Woody, I meant funny in a sad, ironic way.
- Woody Boyd: [chuckles] I know. Those kill me.