Noel Fielding credited as playing...
Vince Noir • Eric Phillips • Charlie (in cartoon) • Hammer
- Vince Noir: Charlie is genius, right, he's made from a million old pieces of bubble gum. Imagine that. In the summer of 1976 on the way home from an Alice Cooper concert, Charlie started to melt on the pavement. It was too hot in L.A and he melted, like a pink bitch. Luckily though, there was Eric Phillips, a local crocodile who dabbled in black magic. He took pity on Charlie, and scraped him off the floor with a pair of fish slicers. He poured him into an antique soup ladel, and boarded his magic carpet, destination, Alaska. Eric Phillips decided to refreeze Charlie, but in his cold blooded reptilian haste, he refroze him into the shape of a hoover. Charlie wasn't phased though, he just zoomed about the place, sucking up Inuits. The Inuits didn't mind. They loved it in Charlie's big tight warm belly pouch, and they refused to come out. Charlie said, "I'm cool with that," and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official. The downside was that the Inuits suffocated imediately. It was air-tight in there. Charlie panicked, and fired the tiny Inuit bullets into to Eric's crocodile peepers. The green shape, was frozen. After a quick drink, Charlie stole Eric Phillip's magic carpet, and left for Seattle. Charlie was racked with guilt. He'd killed 50 Inuits, no one needs that. He decided to spend the rest of his life putting small hairstyles onto boots, monkey nuts, trumpets, and spanners.
- Vince Noir: I'm going to be in Autumn Magnets!
- Howard Moon: Are you now?
- [to Hamilton Cork, who is no longer in character]
- Howard Moon: Now look, I invited you on the show out of the kindness of my heart. What do you think you're playing at?
- [Hamilton nuts Howard unconscious with his shiny conker of a head]
- Hamilton Cork: [to camera] Don't take me on, I'm a 29-er!
- [to Vince]
- Hamilton Cork: Now it is Equity Minimum but the Podiums are very good...