Kevin Nealon credited as playing...
John Wurster
- Adrian Monk: You weren't?
- John Wurster: No, sir. They never found the gun first of all. Plus, Bill LaFrankie was my roommate. He was a devout Buddhist. He wouldn't hurt a spider. Speaking of spiders, there was a guy here named Jim Robertello about two-two years ago. No. About three years ago. No, no, no. Two years-two or three-about two and a half years ago maybe.
- Adrian Monk: It doesn't really matter.
- John Wurster: It doesn't really matter how many years ago it was. But he had a spider named Jesse-Jesse the spider. And Jesse, everytime you played a Willie Nelson record, he would start dancing.
- Adrian Monk: I went to the Stop & Shop, but instead of walking home up Divisadero Street, I-I turned left, and I walked down Trudy's old street to her house. Door was open, so I walked in.
- Dr. Moris Lancaster: And how did you feel being in the house again?
- Adrian Monk: Content. Not a care in the world.
- John Wurster: Adrian, when did this urge begin to manifest itself?
- Dr. Moris Lancaster: John, I'll run the therapy session today, okay?
- John Wurster: Fair enough.
- Dr. Moris Lancaster: And later, you and I can talk privately.
- John Wurster: About Monk?
- Dr. Moris Lancaster: No, about your tendency to overempathize.
- John Wurster: I feel like I'm back in medical school again.
- Manny: Dr. Lancaster, can I go next?
- Dr. Moris Lancaster: Just a minute. Just a minute, okay? Go ahead.
- Adrian Monk: I, uh, I really feel sorry for the Haskells.
- John Wurster: Who are the Haskells?
- Adrian Monk: The couple that live in the house. Nick and Josie. Sweet people, and uh, I-
- [turns to Janie]
- Adrian Monk: -My wife had a necklace exactly like that.
- [John is giving Monk the grand tour of the hospital]
- John Wurster: This is the Monkey Room. Funny story about how it got its name.
- Adrian Monk: What is it?
- John Wurster: We don't know. We just know that there's a funny story.
- John Wurster: [leading Monk around the Institute] The cafeteria closes at 7:00. It's buffet style. This is the Music Room.
- [pointing down a corridor]
- John Wurster: And if you go through these doors, down the hall, that'll take you to the infirmary.
- [they reach another room]
- John Wurster: This is the Monkey Room. Funny story about how it got its name.
- Adrian Monk: What is it?
- John Wurster: We don't know. We just know there's a funny story.
- Adrian Monk: What's all this?
- [They enter a section of the Institute that is undergoing renovation]
- John Wurster: They're tearing down the old wall. They're bringin' it up to code. It's a pretty big project. I used to be in construction myself.
- Adrian Monk: Before you became a cop.
- John Wurster: Exactly. Yeah.
- [They enter a hallway with pictures of past Directors on the wall]
- Adrian Monk: Who's this?
- [points at the first photo]
- John Wurster: This is Doris Medford. She was the first director here. These are all the other directors.
- [John points at each photograph]
- John Wurster: Dead. Dead. Dead.
- [John points at Dr. Morris Lancaster's photo]
- John Wurster: Not dead... yet.
- [a woman, Torch, passes by]
- Torch: Hello, Wurster.
- John Wurster: That's Torch. She burned her boyfriend's house down.
- [They pass by the door to the Quiet Room]
- John Wurster: This is the Quiet Room. Don't get sent here.
- [They pass by the door to the Medical Supply Room]
- John Wurster: Oh, boy.
- Adrian Monk: What's this?
- John Wurster: This is the Medical Supply Room. Gives me the creeps.
- Adrian Monk: Why?
- John Wurster: There was a murder here.
- Adrian Monk: Oh, really. A murder.
- John Wurster: An unsolved murder. Conrad Gould, the assistant director, well, he was killed right here four years ago.
- Adrian Monk: Uh-huh.
- John Wurster: He was a great guy. Gave me magazines. Playboys. Hey. Hey, maybe we can solve it together, huh?
- Adrian Monk: Yeah, sure. Great. What happened, exactly?
- John Wurster: Well, Dr. Gould was taking inventory, like he did every night. A patient named Bill LaFrankie was waiting for him.
- [In a sepia flashback, Bill LaFrankie shoots and kills Dr. Gould in the medical supply room after Dr. Gould comes in while doing the rounds]
- John Wurster: Capped him in the chest. Then he fled S.O.C.
- Adrian Monk: "S.O.C."?
- John Wurster: Yeah, "Scene of the crime". It's cop talk.
- [In another sepia flashback, we see cops over LaFrankie's dead body in the woods]
- John Wurster: They found him in the woods the next morning. He was dead. He shot himself up with Demerol.
- Adrian Monk: Uh, I'm a little confused. Why would you call it an unsolved murder?
- John Wurster: Well, I wasn't 100% satisfied with the official version.