Stephen McHattie credited as playing...
Lt. Adam Kirk
- Lt. Adam Kirk: [looks out his window at the gathered reporters] Look at them out there. Trying to get a picture of a killer cop.
- [angrily closes the blinds]
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Too bad I can't charge them rent. Did you talk to them?
- Adrian Monk: I just told them I was a friend.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Thanks for lying. You know. I don't hold what you did against...
- Adrian Monk: Why would you? I told the truth.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: From your point of view.
- Adrian Monk: I was there, Lieutenant. I saw what you did.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: It was resisting arrest.
- Adrian Monk: I was there.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Well, that makes your being here now mean even more. You know what really kills me about this is, uh, I'm supposed to testify against Stokes next week. Best thing I ever did was getting that butcher off the street and now he's gonna walk.
- Sharona Fleming: Why would he walk?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: He claims that I beat a confession out of him. This makes his case.
- [Monk peels some paper towels]
- Lt. Adam Kirk: What are you doing?
- Sharona Fleming: If you don't mind, it helps him think.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Oh, knock yourself out.
- Adrian Monk: Wanna tell me what happened on the Ferris wheel?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Yeah, that was stupid. I get a call from this punk, Gitomer.
- Adrian Monk: You knew him?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: No, I never met him. I checked him out. He's got some punk stuff-possessions, stolen vehicle. So, he wants to meet at the carnival-busy place, a lot of people.
- Adrian Monk: Meet about what?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: He's got something on a shipment of purple haze. So, we meet. He starts hemming and hawing and then he says that he'll talk, but only up on the Ferris wheel.
- Adrian Monk: The Ferris wheel's his idea?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Oh, yeah. His idea. So, we get on. I don't get out word one, he goes postal.
- Adrian Monk: You didn't do anything?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: [lifts his hand] Hand to God. He starts throwing himself around. He's screaming. "Help! Help! He's gonna kill me!" So, the operator shuts down the rig. I get off. I walk 10 feet, I hear screaming, I turn around and there's Gitomer on the deck, with a knife in his chest.
- Adrian Monk: Whose knife was it?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Not a clue.
- TV Reporter: Lieutenant Adam Kirk is, of course, no stranger to controversy. Six years ago he was suspended for using excessive force-
- [Stottlemeyer talks with Adam Kirk]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Have you been drinking?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: I don't know. A taste.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Amphetamines? Anything? They're gonna want a blood test.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Bring it on.
- TV Reporter: ...And he was in the news again recently when alleged killer Leonard Stokes accused him of police brutality.
- [Two detectives approach Stottlemeyer and Adam]
- IA Cop: Captain, we got to...
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Come on, give me 30 seconds!
- IA Cop: All right.
- [They leave]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Internal Affairs is gonna try to rip you apart.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Well, they've been trying for years.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Look, Adam, is there something you wanna tell me? He pulled a knife, there was a fight, it was either you or him?
- [Adam gets in Stottlemeyer's face]
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Leland. Leland, I never touched him!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: There were bruises on his chest.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Well, he must've stuck himself!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: He stuck himself. All right, look, from this point forward, you don't say anything.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Mm-hmm.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, you don't speak English. I'm gonna call Sam Dwyer from PDA, and he'll send somebody over.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Leland, I never touched him!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Not a word. I'll talk to you later.
- Prosecutor: Your Honor, this is not Lieutenant Kirk's first offense. We have a case. Docket #455, "Adam Kirk vs. Leonard Stokes," in which Lieutenant Kirk is accused of police brutality.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: [slams his hand on the table] This is obscene! Don't touch Stokes, but you can string me up right here?
- [the judge hammers his gavel]
- Judge: Lieutenant, can you or can you not control your temper?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: I can, your Honor.
- Judge: Then do it-on the street and in my courtroom. Mr. Dwyer?
- Defence Attorney: We request that Lieutenant Kirk be released on his own recognizance. Adam Kirk is a decorated officer and the claims against my client in this case and the case involving Mr. Stokes have not been substantiated.
- Judge: I don't know how much more substantiated a case can get. Bail is set at $50,000.
- Adrian Monk: And now, you didn't touch this guy?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: No, I didn't touch him.
- Adrian Monk: Maybe he shoved you, you shoved him back.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: No, I didn't touch the guy.
- Adrian Monk: Things get of hand! It happens.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: NO IT DOESN'T HAPPEN! Not to me. Not anymore.
- Adrian Monk: How's Anita?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Oh, she's good. Thanks for asking.
- Adrian Monk: Where is she?
- Lt. Adam Kirk: You just missed her. She's just out shopping. She should be back, oh, any minute now.
- Adrian Monk: Listen, friend, if I'm gonna help you out, you-you can't lie to me.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: What?
- Adrian Monk: You two had a fight. She moved out.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Now, who told you that?
- [Monk looks at Adam's gardening books]
- Adrian Monk: The woman is obviously into gardening. But every plant in the place is dying.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Well, she always comes back.
- Adrian Monk: I'm done here.
- Sharona Fleming: You'll gonna make somebody a wonderful wife.
- Adrian Monk: I can't make any promises.
- Lt. Adam Kirk: Understood.