Mark Harmon credited as playing...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
- Abby Sciuto: It's kinda fun. It reminds me of Bill Nye.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Who?
- Abby Sciuto: Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Wacky scientist with a kid's show?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, it's like Mr. Wizard.
- Abby Sciuto: Who?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Never mind.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Accidental overdose, Duck?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I doubt it. She had enough PCP in her system to kill a small water buffalo.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Water buffalo?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I tire of saying "small horse."
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, Abs, got some good news for you. i just talked to the director and your new assistant starts Monday.
- Abby Sciuto: No, Gibbs! No. I can't go through that again. That-
- [realizes Gibbs is joking]
- Abby Sciuto: That is so not funny!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No?
- Abby Sciuto: No.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It was to me, kind of.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I think I have something, Boss.
- [pause]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Are you waiting for me to guess, Elflord?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: McGee, photos. Ziva, interview the rest of the models. DiNozzo...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Boss, I'm pretty familiar with the show. Maybe I should interview them.
- Officer Ziva David: That would work for me. I hate models.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That so? McGee, help Ziva. Interview them.
- [shoves the camera into Tony's chest]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Any other suggestions DiNozzo?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No, I think I got it.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after a reporter has creatively edited Gibbs' words] You want me to help fix this? Then get me that reporter's number?
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: You're going to apologize?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No. Ask her to dinner.
- Hannah Bressling: Fingerprint away, sweetheart. It wasn't me.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We don't need it. They're already in your arrest record.
- Officer Ziva David: From the time you beat up your assistant with your cell phone, I believe.
- Natalie Vance: Well, it wasn't me.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Nope. We've got yours too.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, remember that time you drove your SUV through the front of the Limelight?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: How did you track him down?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Got an urgent call from the President.
- [McGee looks confused]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: His Am-Ex records were in the fax machine, McGee.
- [last lines]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [to Tony, about the black roses] Your flowers are dead.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [arriving at a motel] Millions of dollars, a supermodel girlfriend, and this is where he stays?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [indicates a snazzy BMW] Well, he showed up in style.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I think I would've rather slept in the car.