Pauley Perrette credited as playing...
Abby Sciuto
- Abby Sciuto: It's kinda fun. It reminds me of Bill Nye.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Who?
- Abby Sciuto: Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Wacky scientist with a kid's show?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, it's like Mr. Wizard.
- Abby Sciuto: Who?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Never mind.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I could not imagine a worse way to go.
- Abby Sciuto: I could.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: She planted herself on a barbed wire fence. What could possibly be worse?
- Abby Sciuto: My top three are: falling in a wood chipper, drowning in lava, and being eaten by a shark.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, Abs, got some good news for you. i just talked to the director and your new assistant starts Monday.
- Abby Sciuto: No, Gibbs! No. I can't go through that again. That-
- [realizes Gibbs is joking]
- Abby Sciuto: That is so not funny!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No?
- Abby Sciuto: No.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It was to me, kind of.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know what to say. Abby, these...
- Abby Sciuto: Just say that you don't hate me.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I could never hate you. I don't think anyone could hate you.
- Abby Sciuto: Oh, you don't know Billy Bob.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You gave him black roses?
- Abby Sciuto: No. I gave him two black eyes. He tried to run me over with a Harley Fat Boy when I was sleeping in the living room.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: A guy rode a motorcycle through your living room?
- Abby Sciuto: Yeah. No. Well it was his living room. My Harley. Billy Bob had, um, intimacy issues.
- Abby Sciuto: [holding a vase of black roses] They're for you.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: They're really black. Really, really black.
- Abby Sciuto: It's pretty cool, huh?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah.
- [reads the card]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Get well soon?
- Abby Sciuto: They didn't have a card that said "Sorry I almost sent you to prison" at the flower shop.
- Abby Sciuto: [handing him black roses] Don't forget to water them, or they'll die.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I thought they already were dead.
- Abby Sciuto: Two things I know. One, I like cream filling. And two, this was her last meal. I think we're looking at death by Klowny Kake.