Mark Harmon credited as playing...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [holding a bag of money] This was found on these two boys in the cooler. It's counterfeit. It comes from a foreign government known to support terrorism. That makes you two dirtbags suspected enemy combatants under the Patriot Act. Tony, read them their rights. Put them on the first Navy transport to Gitmo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. One will not be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights you *don't* have?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How many numbers did he dial?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Six.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: One more and bada-bing-bada-boom.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Lucky he wasn't phony savy.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Savy enough to wire three phones to the same number.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. What if he used speed dial?
- Abby Sciuto: I ran those prints through the Bureau. I got nada.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You did not have access to the full database.
- Abby Sciuto: [to Fornell] You're holding out on us! That is not nice!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Quoting a memo] All agents, not working active cases, are to attend a sexual harassment lecture at the NCIS Human Resource Center at 0930 hours, today.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I can not sit through another one of those, I will shoot myself.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: You mean they actually train you guys how to harass?
- [Gets a dirty look from Gibbs]
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Hey, I'm kidding, except for Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The last time, Kate, I was only trying to get my seat belt on.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Right! Seat Belt.
- [watching Kate and Tony argue]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Why do I feel like a high school principal?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: What do we got Gibbs?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Commander's wallet with the Sergeant's prints.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: [Very upset] You removed a wallet from a body without gloves!
- Sergeant Linn: I had to get the vic's name.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: He's not a vic! He's a victim! Where did you learn crime scene procedure? Watching Kojak reruns?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What's that?
- DEA Agent Kent Fuller: Asset forfeiture notice.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't you have to find drugs *first*?
- DEA Agent Kent Fuller: I used to worry about rules like that, then I met you guys!
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: He could be a power company employee doing his job.
- [the suspect picks up his weapon and starts shooting at them]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No! I don't think so!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How many drug dealers can you think of, that leave the body *and* the money?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Haven't heard you this pissed since you shoved that French flic off a cliff, Duck.
- Gerald Jackson: Wait, you shoved a French cop over a cliff?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: There was a lake below.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: 60 feet below.