David McCallum credited as playing...
Donald Mallard
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You know Abby, sometimes the dead make more sense to me than the living.
- Abby Sciuto: Me, too.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: This so-called ceremonial sword is sharp enough to slit someone's throat. Do you know why they drive on the left-hand side of the road in England? Dates back to medieval times. Most people were -- and still are -- right-handed. It allowed them to slash at one another when passing on horseback. Why, you might ask, doesn't this hold true for the rest of Europe?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [videocall shows Ducky performing an autopsy] Ugh. You might want to warn us what you're working on after lunch, Ducky.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [continues working] Yes, I suppose gazing directly into an exposed digestive system doesn't aid the actual process.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Not after the meal we just had.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Yes, I'm sorry about that, my friend, but sometimes gaining valuable insight
- [moves a human organ onto a scale]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: requires suffering small indignities. I recall one case, a young woman not much older than yourself. She ingested a small piece of jewelry...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: -- Ducky?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Yes?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What do we got?