Mark Harmon credited as playing...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
- Abby Sciuto: Latex is, um, very popular in, uh, certain... circles.
- Gibbs: Yeah? What kind of circles?
- Abby Sciuto: Gibbs, I dunno if you're ready for this. It might upset your delicate sensibilities.
- Gibbs: Oh, I'll stop you.
- Abby Sciuto: Okay... maybe he was wearing a latex hood, like bondage gear, S&M fetish. I dated this guy once who just wanted me to bounce up and down on a balloon -...
- Gibbs: Okay, you can stop.
- Abby Sciuto: Gibbs, that is no weirder than a three hundred and fifty pound guy with half his body painted yellow and the other painted green, wearing nothing but shorts in ten degree weather and a big plastic piece of cheese on his head saying "Go Packers!"
- Gibbs: Abs, it's apples and oranges.
- Abby Sciuto: There's a fetish for that, too.
- Abby Sciuto: So, what about you, Gibbs? You got any fetishes?
- Gibbs: I have three ex-wives. I don't have time for fetishes.
- Abby Sciuto: I dunno. Guys have all kinds of strange rituals before they go out. This one guy, he does a full upper body workout just seconds before his date so he can be all pumped.
- [pause]
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Does Tony know that you know?
- Abby Sciuto: Does Tony know that YOU know?
- Abby Sciuto: It's gray latex.
- Gibbs: Rubber?
- Abby Sciuto: One and the same.
- Gibbs: Probably couldn't be used as a hat.
- Abby Sciuto: Yeah, well, not if you grew up in Dorkville.
- Gibbs: Grew up just west of there.
- [Ducky always goes off on a tangent]
- Abby Sciuto: I had this boyfriend once - not the balloon guy - but this one was like a computer genius. He put together a database of databases. I mean, it seems obvious in retrospect, like the pet rock...
- Gibbs: Abby?
- Abby Sciuto: Yes?
- Gibbs: You're spending too much time talking to Ducky.
- [the team has no active leads to follow]
- Tony: What do we do?
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Same thing Deep Throat told Woodward and Bernstein. Follow the money.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ducky. Got some good news for me?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: That depends on your definition of good news.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not the answer I was looking for.
- Tony: What're we looking for?
- Gibbs: Answers.
- [Gibbs walks away]
- Tony: You got plans tonight?
- Agent Caitlin Todd: Not really.
- Tony: Good. 'Cause the last time Gibbs was like this, I didn't go home for a week.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: The sad part? That would actually be an improvement over my social life.
- Tony: Yeah. Wonder what they were looking for.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: Wonder if they found it.
- Gibbs: I wonder when you two guys are gonna stop yakking and get to work.
- Abby Sciuto: This program rocks. It includes vault, fall, yaw, tip over, rollover, combined speed, linear momentum...
- Gibbs: Abby.
- Abby Sciuto: Oh, c'mon, Gibbs. You know you love it when I talk tech.
- Gibbs: We gonna jump through any legal hoops?
- Abby Sciuto: Oh, that's kind of a gray area.
- Gibbs: How gray?
- Abby Sciuto: Charcoal.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Talk to me about this case, Ducky.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Oh, it's an odd one. Yes, our young friend here expired at approximately one a.m.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Do we have an ID?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Yeah, Petty Officer First Class Chris Gordon. He's a SK stationed at Pax River.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: All this happened from him falling out of the ceiling?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Hardly. He suffered multiple traumatic injuries. His fall through the ceiling only added insult to injury.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Still waiting for the odd part.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Someone dressed him after he was killed.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That's odd.
- Abby Sciuto: The car that hit Gordon was definitely a Taurus.
- Gibbs: You're positive?
- Abby Sciuto: Absolutely... unless it was a Mercury Sable.