Michael Weatherly credited as playing...
Anthony DiNozzo
- Maya: Maybe, after this is all over, we could go for a drink.
- Tony DiNozzo: Yeah...
- Ziva David: [entering] Tony, I'm pregnant.
- Maya: Uh, some other time, perhaps.
- Tony DiNozzo: Thanks.
- [Maya leaves in a huff]
- Ziva David: She's not your type, anyway.
- Tony DiNozzo: Hot and in a maid's outfit. They don't get any more my type.
- Tony DiNozzo: [while pretending to be lovers] Sweetheart, you know what I could use right now?
- Ziva David: Deodorant?
- Timothy McGee: [whispering to Tony in the hotel room] If you whisper it should be okay.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [from headquarters with Jenny] Comfortable, DiNozzo?
- Tony DiNozzo: Well, yeah. Workin' on it. Why do you ask?
- Jenny Shepard: We're looking at you Agent DiNozzo. *All* of you.
- Tony DiNozzo: [embarassed] Uh, sorry.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo! What the hell are you going? You're *married* assassins, you're not visiting the Playboy mansion.
- Tony DiNozzo: It was kind of Ziva's idea, boss.
- Tony DiNozzo: I'm just trying to imagine you pregnant.
- Ziva David: Don't!
- Tony DiNozzo: I have to. I'm gonna be a father. It's a great responsibility.
- Ziva David: Maybe it's not yours.
- Tony DiNozzo: Maybe she didn't know.
- Ziva David: Oh, she knew.
- Tony DiNozzo: So why take this contract? Put our unborn child in danger?
- Ziva David: Perhaps we needed the money.
- Tony DiNozzo: Kids are expensive...
- Ziva David: And bullets are cheap.
- [undercover as married asssasins, Ziva is giving Tony a back rub]
- Tony DiNozzo: [moaning pleasureably] Oh... oh... and to think, my mother thought I was too good for you.
- [She pinches his nerve, hard]
- Tony DiNozzo: Ow... ow!
- Tony DiNozzo: [kept awake by Ziva's snoring, mutters] Crazy chick...
- Ziva David: [sleepily] I heard that, my little Hairy Butt.
- Tony DiNozzo: The Raniers obviously stole something they want, you're going to give it to them.
- Ziva David: We don't have it!
- Tony DiNozzo: You're going to tell them it's in our hotel room and offer to show them. McGee should be waiting there with backup.
- Ziva David: Good plan, except for one minor drawback.
- Tony DiNozzo: What?
- Ziva David: When I leave, they'll most likely put a bullet through your head.
- Tony DiNozzo: Oh... well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan.
- Tony DiNozzo: You haven't fired your gun. Why are you cleaning it again?
- Ziva David: It keeps me calm. Helps to keep my mind on the job in my hand.
- Tony DiNozzo: The phrase is "the job at hand".
- Ziva David: Same difference.
- [to Tony, who is fast asleep]
- Ziva David: [French accent] Jean-Paul... my little furry bear?
- [pours water in his ear]
- Ziva David: Wake up...
- Tony DiNozzo: [leaps to his feet in his underwear] I'm in position, Boss!
- Tony DiNozzo: Whoa...