David McCallum credited as playing...
Donald Mallard
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Did you enjoy playing my boss?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I did, rather.
- Coroner Elmo Poke: Hello, Ducky. How'd you like them steaks I air-expressed you?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Delicious.
- Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: He air-expressed him steaks?
- Agent Caitlin Todd: It's a big state. Look how long it took them to get here.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You know, Abby, nature always proves to be a far more elusive and powerful killer than man.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: He could have been born with an aneurysm. They're time bombs in the body. I remember this young, promising profundo basso in London. He was only 27 when he keeled over in the middle of an "Otello" aria... .
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: If Mr Rainer had lived, I would have suggested a more fiber-rich diet. His colon was almost impacted with fecal matter.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [after correcting a TOD error] It's inconsistencies like this start conspiracy theories. It reminds me of a case once in New Orleans. A jealous husband shot his wife off a Mardi Gras float right under the clock at the corner of Basin Street and... I'll tell you the rest later.