Dave Foley: Dave Nelson

The Cane

Dave Nelson

Bill: You see, it's like the old saying, "Everybody loves a cane."
Dave: No, Bill. I think the old saying is "Everybody loves a clown." Which is what you look like with that thing.

Bill: You do realize I'm just going to go and buy another cane, don't you?
Dave: Yeah, and I'm just gonna steal it again.
Bill: Touché. Beth?
[from outside Dave's office, Beth tosses Bill a cane]
Bill: [sticking it in Dave's couch] Here's one you can take right now.
Bill: [Beth immediately tosses Bill another cane, which he lays on Dave's desk] This one you can break later.
Bill: [another cane flies in, which Bill tosses on the floor] Here's one for the Hamptons.
Bill: [Beth tosses Bill a fourth cane, which he tucks under his arm] This one I like; I keep.
Bill: [a fifth cane flies in] This one displeases me.
[Bill tosses it back out the door]

Bill: I guess my cane is lost, and I'll just have to accept that, and get on with my life.
Bill: [Bill starts to leave Dave's office in frustration over not having found his cane; Dave subtly steps toward the window, then pauses] ... You stepped in front of the window...
Dave: I did what?
Bill: When I moved to the door, you moved in front of the window as if you were protecting something.
Dave: OK, Bill... Bill, I'm asking you to leave.
Bill: You taped it to the side of the building, or under the window sill! I read your book, you magnificent bastard!
Dave: OK, Bill. I - I - I'm now - I'm now ordering you to leave!
Bill: I'll leave - but first I'm looking out that window.
Dave: [as Bill walks to window and pulls up blinds] Bill, you're gonna feel pretty stupid when it's not out there.
Bill: It's out there. I know it's out there.
Dave: Bill?
Bill: ...Yes, Dave?
Dave: ...I stole your cane!
Dave: [Dave walks to the window, reaches outside and retrieves Bill's cane from under the window sill] Bill, I - I... I'm sorry, Bill; I - I don't know why I - I - I did it and - and - and again, I'm - I'm - I'm sorry, Bill.
Bill: That is the most childish, immature thing I've ever seen you do.
Dave: No, this is.
Dave: [breaks the cane over his knee] Ah, but you knew I was gonna do that.
Bill: No, that one caught me by surprise.

Jimmy: Do you know what makes this country great?
Dave: [sighs] What?
Jimmy: I don't know, but I do know this. If Henry Ford and John Chrysler'd been sleeping together, Hell we'd be... we'd all be traveling around in horse buggies.

Matthew Brock: [whispering] Dave.
Dave: Matthew, why are you whispering?
Matthew Brock: Because lately Joe has been looking at me with hate in his eyes. It's like he's zapping me with hate rays. Zap, zap-zap-zap.
Dave: Zap, zap-zap-zap, eh?
Matthew Brock: Dave, please don't mock me.
Dave: It's very hard not to.

Jimmy: So, what you're-what you're sayin' to me is that, uh, because of your personal relationship you see the value in non-competitive cooperation?
Dave: Well, yes.
Jimmy: That may work wonders in the bedroom, but I tell you what, do me a favor and keep that kind of crap out of my office.

Dave: If Henry Ford and John Chrysler had argued like this, we'd still be driving around in a horse and buggy.
Matthew Brock: Ummm... who - who's John Chrysler?
Dave: The... the guy that invented the Chrysler?
Joe Garrelli: There - there's no such person as John Chrysler!
Matthew Brock: Oh, no - no; wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is he by any chance related to Jack Chevrolet?