Phil Hartman credited as playing...
Bill McNeal
- Bill: You do realize I'm just going to go and buy another cane, don't you?
- Dave: Yeah, and I'm just gonna steal it again.
- Bill: Touché. Beth?
- [from outside Dave's office, Beth tosses Bill a cane]
- Bill: [sticking it in Dave's couch] Here's one you can take right now.
- Bill: [Beth immediately tosses Bill another cane, which he lays on Dave's desk] This one you can break later.
- Bill: [another cane flies in, which Bill tosses on the floor] Here's one for the Hamptons.
- Bill: [Beth tosses Bill a fourth cane, which he tucks under his arm] This one I like; I keep.
- Bill: [a fifth cane flies in] This one displeases me.
- [Bill tosses it back out the door]
- Bill: I guess my cane is lost, and I'll just have to accept that, and get on with my life.
- Bill: [Bill starts to leave Dave's office in frustration over not having found his cane; Dave subtly steps toward the window, then pauses] ... You stepped in front of the window...
- Dave: I did what?
- Bill: When I moved to the door, you moved in front of the window as if you were protecting something.
- Dave: OK, Bill... Bill, I'm asking you to leave.
- Bill: You taped it to the side of the building, or under the window sill! I read your book, you magnificent bastard!
- Dave: OK, Bill. I - I - I'm now - I'm now ordering you to leave!
- Bill: I'll leave - but first I'm looking out that window.
- Dave: [as Bill walks to window and pulls up blinds] Bill, you're gonna feel pretty stupid when it's not out there.
- Bill: It's out there. I know it's out there.
- Dave: Bill?
- Bill: ...Yes, Dave?
- Dave: ...I stole your cane!
- Dave: [Dave walks to the window, reaches outside and retrieves Bill's cane from under the window sill] Bill, I - I... I'm sorry, Bill; I - I don't know why I - I - I did it and - and - and again, I'm - I'm - I'm sorry, Bill.
- Bill: That is the most childish, immature thing I've ever seen you do.
- Dave: No, this is.
- Dave: [breaks the cane over his knee] Ah, but you knew I was gonna do that.
- Bill: No, that one caught me by surprise.
- Bill: [giving directions with his cane] You, my good man, are going to get back on the elevator. Go down a floor, step out of the elevator, turn left. Walk down the hallway and the graphics art shop is 1 2 3 4 5 doors down, on the right, just open the door... And you're home!