Harry Anderson credited as playing...
Judge Harry T. Stone
- [after Harry says, "I love you" to him, then turns to leave]
- Dan Fielding: Harry, I l... I l...
- Mr. Feldman: [pulls the curtain aside] You love him too! Spit it out!
- [Dan just looks at him]
- Mr. Feldman: Oh please, allow me.
- [closes the curtain on himself]
- Dan Fielding: There, I said it.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [smiles] Yeah, you did. Now try and say it to yourself.
- Dan Fielding: Harry, do you know how many women I have slept with?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Dan, it doesn't matter how many women you've slept with!
- [pause]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: A hundred?
- Dan Fielding: You ever see the signs over the golden arches that say, "over 4 billion served"? Let's just say I'm competitive.
- Phil Sanders: [Bursts into Dan's room] Dan! I...
- Dan Fielding: Oh, Phil, spit it out.
- Phil Sanders: [Kneels bedside Dan's bed] Dan, uh...
- [starts sobbing on Dan's arm]
- Dan Fielding: I didn't mean that literally.
- Phil Sanders: I'm so happy that you're okay.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You know, Dan, you owe quite a debt to Phil.
- Dan Fielding: What are you talking about?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You needed a transfusion and none of us matched your type, so...
- Dan Fielding: Oh, no!
- Phil Sanders: I'm coursing through your veins even as we speak, Dan.
- Dan Fielding: Oh, my God!
- Phil Sanders: It's beautiful, isn't it? I am you. You are me.
- Dan Fielding: Yeah, now we both got hookworm! I want you and your green, furry teeth outta here!
- Phil Sanders: [Turns to Harry] He's gonna be just fine.
- [leaves the room]
- Dan Fielding: Ah, I can feel the Sterno pumping through my veins.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Okay, So you haven't found the right person so you keep looking.
- Dan Fielding: [Exasperated] Harry! I have dated the State.