Death in the Family/The Merciful/Class of '99/Witches' Feast

E. G. Marshall stars in "Death in the Family." No, not the James Agee classic but the story of a funeral director who doesn't want to let his clients go. He invites them to a party. He has an entire family set up at a table, to celebrate a birthday. Apparently, empty caskets are being put in the ground (they are the poor and dissolute) and he keeps the bodies. There is no mention of taxidermy, but they seem quite well preserved. Along comes Desi Arnaz, Jr., a murderer who has been shot and is being pursued by the police. He realizes his wound may be fatal. Marshall invites him in and takes care of him. Anyway, we can see it coming. This is quite a unique episode.

"The Merciful" is a new version of Poe's "A Cask of Amontillado." Enough said about that.

"The Class of '99" features a final oral exam for a group of attractive graduate students. They are asked extremely hard questions and answer them flawlessly. Well, almost. One is only able to give three of four answers and is maligned for it. The teacher is Vincent Price and he holds forth with an ugly disdain and absolute power over them. Part of their exam is to deal with issues of bigotry and hate and act "appropriately" when confronting these things. It gets really ugly at times. The conclusion explains what is at issue here. For me, this was the best of the three.

Finally, "Satisfaction Guaranteed" (which doesn't appear at the top of this page but is definitely in this collection) is about an overweight man, played by Victor Buono, who is at a secretarial agency, trying to choose an employee. The company guarantees satisfaction. so? Anyway, it probably ranks as one of the silliest episodes. But watching Buono was always a great treat.

Just watched this classic episode segment from "Night Gallery" and it featured the old and now late legendary character actor E.G. Marshall(most remembered for "Creepshow" and "Christmas Vacation"). Anyway in it E.G. plays an owner of an ancient and Gothic style funeral home who he as the old wise owner takes pride in every body he gets. Only oddly the episode takes a twist when an on the run criminal takes hideout at the funeral home. And this criminal soon discovers a secret at this old funeral home as downstairs it's an upright gathering of the dead and soon he will be a member! This episode teaches to love and cherish the dead as they are less annoying than the living as they don't care about competition, greed, material things and they cause less stress than the living! Overall good clever and offbeat episode and remembered for E.G. Marshall's work.

A Death in the Family sees Mr. Soames (E. G. Marshall), owner of a funeral parlour, resolving his loneliness by creating a 'family' of corpses to keep him company. The latest addition to his family is to be fatally wounded criminal Doran (Desi Arnaz Jr.) who breaks into the funeral home. It's a macabre but touching tale -- kinda like if Ed Gein was well-meaning and misunderstood -- and the sight of cadavers assembled around a table wearing party hats is wonderfully ghoulish (and would be repeated for the 1981 slasher film Happy Birthday To Me).

The Merciful is one of those pointless, supposedly amusing horror shorts that are used to pad out an episode. A woman bricks up her husband in the basement, or does she? It's predictable stuff.

Class of '99 stars Vincent Price as an examiner, grading students on their knowledge and ability to react to situations in the approved manner. It's not exactly thrilling stuff, that not even Price can save, but it's always fun to see an inaccurate 'futuristic' prediction of a year that has since passed.

Satisfaction Guaranteed doesn't satisfy. Victor Buono plays a wealthy man looking for a secretary, but she must meet his very exacting criteria. Another black comedy short, this one is plain daft.

Brandon deWilde, Vincent Price and Randolph Mantooth gave fine performances. They all did, and so did the Asian guy (Mr. Chang"?)who was part of the dialogue, and his was not a bit part. Yet the production people chose to ignore him. Hollywood racism at its best, you must make noise to get a fair shake.

It should also be noted that when the student recited an equation for momentum (m*v) of a rocket, he cited a correction factor for fuel loss, ln(e). I don't know what these guys were smoking but that smart Asian kid would tell you that ln(e^x) = x

So 8 for the acting and 4 for the writing.

'A Death In The Family' - A fugitive young man with a bullet wound finds sanctuary in a funeral parlor run by a lonely man who takes his job to heart... Small but effective tale is more sad than creepy.

'The Merciful' - One spouse walls up the other, but who is sealing up who? Mildly amusing short is all about the (visual) punch line.

'Class Of '99' - Vincent Price shines as a no-nonsense teacher in a "future" academy dealing with androids where not everything is as it seems... Best tale of the four hits a dramatic knockout.

'Witches' Feast' - Thought-lost tale should have stayed lost, as it's a perfectly dreadful example of all set-up with no payoff.