You Can Come Up Now, Mrs. Millikan/Smile, Please

'You Can Come Up Now Mrs. Millikan' - Ozzie & Harriet Nelson plays Henry & Helena Millikan, a long-married couple devoted to each other despite their mutual failings: He is a failed scientist/inventor desperate to make his latest formula work, she because she is always late and inept. He still uses her in an experiment of reviving the dead, but doesn't take into account her habits, which leads to final disaster... Shrewdly cast piece almost works but in the end comes up as short as its lead characters.

'Smile Please' - Lindsay Wagner plays a woman trying to photograph a vampire, and that's all there is to it!

This episode titled Smile, Please, is one of the many short Night Gallery vignettes, which for the most part border more on being funny rather than scary, and conjures debates among fans of the show. I personally enjoy their 70's charm, especially the vampire stories. This episode is barely 2 minutes long, and it stars Cesare Danova and Lindsay Wagner, who sports an English accent, and is trying to become the first person ever to photograph a live vampire as it sleeps. Danova accompanies her to search for the elusive vampire and promises her she will certainly get her shot. Soon after, she notices that the bed to which the creature sleeps is empty, and turns to question her companion who promised her a picture. In a predictable conclusion, he steps back and bares his fangs and says "cheese" to the startled woman. Silly I suppose, but I enjoyed the dark castle and the settings. I've always been a sucker for vampires, scary or not.

No two actors made such an amazing career out of being dull than Ozzie and Harriet. Their weekly show with sons Rick and David were masterpieces of bland. I guess Ozzie was a bandleader at one time. In this episode, Ozzie plays a scientist who has one failure after another. His perpetual motion machine only lasts for about six seconds. Harriet plays a woman who is forgetful to a fault. As a matter of fact, today she would probably be diagnosed with dementia. Ozzie depends on her to remind him of things and she forgets. When he blows up the living room, she can't remember that he asked her to clean the place. Now he wants to try a new experiment. He wants to poison Harriet and then bring her back to life. His nephew happens by and blows the whistle on Ozzie before he can see if his efforts come to fruition. This sets up the circumstances that end the story. Ozzie is a perfect choice to play the innocent, clueless scientist. He is eternally hopeful and about as dense as poundcake. It's an acceptable episode.

I think that Ozzie Nelson may have been one of the best actors to ever grace the TV or silver screen. Why do I say that? Because his character on this show may very well be the most annoying, obtuse character I have ever witnessed. His part is written so poorly he has no other option than to play it how he did. This was so bad it's no wonder this show only lasted 3 seasons.