Jenna Fischer credited as playing...
Pam Beesly
- Michael Scott: I want you to rub butter on my foot.
- Pam Beesly: No.
- Michael Scott: Pam, please? I have Country Crock.
- [Michael is still on the phone asking for someone to pick him up for work]
- Michael Scott: Pam, could you come get me?
- Pam Beesly: Uh, I have to stay here and answer the phone.
- Michael Scott: Ok, could someone come and get me please, Ryan?
- Phyllis: Michael, you should stay home and rest.
- Michael Scott: There's no toilet paper here. Could Ryan... tell Ryan to bring toilet paper. Could you tell him that?
- Kevin Malone: Can you hop?
- Michael Scott: I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a "protruberance".
- [long beat]
- Michael Scott: Nobody wants to come and pick me up?
- [everyone stays silent as Dwight enters]
- Dwight Schrute: What is going on? What is going on?
- Pam Beesly: Michael, is, um, sick and he wants one of us to rescue him.
- Michael Scott: I'm not sick! I'm burned!
- Dwight Schrute: I'm coming Michael!
- Jim Halpert: Oh...
- Dwight Schrute: [shouting at the speakerphone] I'm gonna save you!
- Michael Scott: Don't... is that Dwight? I do not want Dwight.
- [Dwight's already halfway out of the office]
- Dwight Schrute: Hold on Michael! I am coming! Wait there!
- Michael Scott: I DON'T WANT DWIGHT.
- Pam Beesly: Michael, why don't you call your girlfriend?
- Michael Scott: [dryly] I don't have a girlfriend.
- Jim Halpert: But you said that you went out with her this weekend.
- Michael Scott: [still dryly] It was all made up. Just someone come, ok? Anyone. Anyone but Dwight.
- [all of a sudden, everyone hears a car crash coming from outside]
- Jim Halpert: What was that...
- Pam Beesly: What was that?
- [Everyone rushes to Michael's window to see that Dwight has collided with the front gate with his car]
- Jim Halpert: Oh!
- Pam Beesly: Ohhhhhh!
- Jim Halpert: He hit the pole! It's broken, right? He can't...
- [Dwight stumbles out of the car in a stupor]
- Pam Beesly: Oh, my gosh.
- Jim Halpert: Oh, Dwight, Dwight.
- [Dwight proceeds to puke all over his back windshield]
- Jim Halpert: Ohhhhhh!
- Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly: Oh my God!
- Pam Beesly: Is he okay?
- Jim Halpert: He's still driving...
- [Dwight gets back in his car and drives away]
- Jim Halpert: Dwight, you forgot your bumper!
- Michael Scott: [still on speakerphone] Hello?
- [beat]
- Michael Scott: Please don't send Dwight.
- [first lines; Pam is working reception when she gets a phone call]
- Pam Beesly: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
- Michael Scott: [over the phone] Pam! It's Michael. Help me! I need help right now.
- Pam Beesly: [genuinely concerned] Michael, what's wrong?
- Michael Scott: I'm hurt, I have hurt myself. Oh my God!
- Pam Beesly: Ok, wait wait wait wait...
- Michael Scott: No, I want you to pick me up.
- Jim Halpert: What?
- Pam Beesly: Ok...
- Jim Halpert: [walks over to reception] What's going on?
- Pam Beesly: Wait a second, I thought you said that you were hurt.
- Michael Scott: I am hurt. I hurt my foot.
- Jim Halpert: I'm sorry? Pam.
- [Pam is exasperated]
- Jim Halpert: What is going on?
- Michael Scott: I want to come to work. But I need you to come and pick me up.
- [Jim lunges across Pam's desk and puts Michael on speakerphone]
- Michael Scott: [screaming] OH GOD!
- [Everyone in the office looks up at hearing Michael]
- Jim Halpert: Hey, whoa, Michael...
- Michael Scott: Oh God!
- Jim Halpert: It's, okay, it's Jim. Just say again, uh, *really loudly* what happened.
- Michael Scott: OK,
- [makes pained goofy moan]
- Michael Scott: I burned my foot very badly on my Foreman Grill and I now need someone to come and bring me into work.
- Jim Halpert: You burned *your* foot on a Foreman Grill?
- Pam Beesly: You missed two big conference calls today, one with corporate.
- Michael Scott: Oh, did you explain why?
- Pam Beesly: No, I didn't mention that you cooked your foot.
- Michael Scott: Burned my foot, Pam.