Bonnie Franklin credited as playing...
Ann Romano
- Dwayne F. Schneider: I remember when I got my first real job. I was two years old.
- Barbara Cooper: Two?
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Yeah. I was a model in a diaper ad.
- Ann Romano: I didn't know you were a famous baby.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Well, half famous. My face was never in the ad.
- Barbara Cooper: [Barbara asks for $600, and Ann says No] Mom, it wouldn't be as if you're giving me the money. It would just be an advance against my paycheck.
- Ann Romano: You got a job?
- Barbara Cooper: Well, yeah, almost.
- Julie Cooper: But not quite.
- Ann Romano: Oh, I see. She wants a $600.- advance against almost but not quite. Have you ever thought about going into politics?
- Barbara Cooper: [the conversation continues and Barbara explains how she's trying to influence her friend, Bob, to hire her] Oh come on, you guys, what are friends for if you can't please them?
- Ann Romano: Darling, I think you ought to skip politics and go straight into corruption.