Dwayne F. Schneider: I remember when I was stationed in Corpus Christi, I went to this little social event in town, y'know. I met this beautiful girl. Carlotta Hernandez.
Ann Romano: Pretty name.
Dwayne F. Schneider: She popped out of a cake at a stag party... I fell completely in love with her, y'know, so I took her over to the local tattoo parlor, y'know, I wanted to have 'Dwayne loves Carlotta' engraved right over my heart. Middle of the engraving, she took off with the tattoo artist. Never saw Carlotta again.
Ann Romano: Sad story.
Dwayne F. Schneider: Huh. Y'think that's sad, try bein' in the U.S. Navy for three and a half years with a tattoo over your heart that says, 'Dwayne loves Carl'.
