David Jason credited as playing...
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter
- Uncle Albert: During the...
- Del Boy: If you say "During the war" once more, I'm gonna pour this cuppa tea right over your head.
- Uncle Albert: I wasn't gonna say during the war.
- Del Boy: Well that's alright then.
- Uncle Albert: Bloody little know all.
- Del Boy: Alright. I'm sorry.
- Uncle Albert: Thank you. During the 1939-1945 conflict with Germany...
- Uncle Albert: It doesn't usually take us this long to finish.
- Del Boy: Yes, but that is because we are not golloping down a Big Mac and chips. We're taking our time. We're savouring the food and ambience. People in there are conversing between each mouthful. It's sophisticated... No matter, I'll whack this in the microwave... Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. This isn't coffee. Smell it, it's bloody gravy.
- Uncle Albert: Yeah, that's gravy. Well it's them jars. How am I supposed to tell the difference?
- Del Boy: I tell you how you tell the difference. This one has on the label, Maxwell House Coffee. On this it says OXO Gravy Granules. It's a bit of a give away.
- Uncle Albert: Well I was in a hurry and must have got mixed up.
- Del Boy: I'll mix you up in a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you made gravy in the coffee pot. What are they pouring over their dinners in there?
- Del Boy: I don't believe you. Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier you've ever sailed on, but now you've gone and knackered a gravy boat!