Harold Perrineau credited as playing...
Augustus Hill
- [last lines]
- Augustus Hill: [narrating] So here's the funny part: the Spaniards actually exterminated the Aztecs by accident. Yeah, they had the horses and the cannons, but they also brought over smallpox. It was the disease that finally finished the job, a disease the Spanish gave the Aztecs without even knowing. In Oz, we do what we can to survive. But ultimately, it doesn't matter. Life always gets in the way.
- Augustus Hill: I tell you, I don't belong with those three clowns, man. They're crazy! Especially Beecher. I mean, forget all that shit he did to Schillinger. Beecher bit off some fucker's dick.
- Tim McManus: I know. That was ten months ago.
- Augustus Hill: Oh, yeah, well, then that's ok. I gotta share a pod, McManus. I gotta sleep with one eye open.
- Tim McManus: Sister Peter Marie says he's responding to therapy.
- Augustus Hill: Well, then let her bunk with him.
- Augustus Hill: So, there used to be this tribe, the Aztecs, who believed that the universe is created by violence. Every year, in what was their version of Christmas, they would cut out someone's heart and offer it up to the gods. These people were convinced that without this sacrifice, the sun would fall from the sky and the world would come to an end. Then the Spaniards landed and wiped the Aztecs off the face of the earth. Turns out they was right; the world did come to an end.
- Augustus Hill: How the fuck did I get to be an other? On the streets I was selling dope. I was as bad as any of those homeboys. I fucking killed a cop! I get thrown in with you guys.
- Robert Rebadow: You're disabled.
- Augustus Hill: And the rest of you are fucking certifiable.
- Augustus Hill: Aw, fuck.
- Tobias 'Toby' Beecher: What?
- Augustus Hill: You farted.
- Tobias 'Toby' Beecher: No, I didn't.
- Augustus Hill: Pee-fucking-yoo.
- Tobias 'Toby' Beecher: I didn't fart.
- Augustus Hill: Damn, man. Five hours 'til dawn, and I gotta be in a glass box with the King of Stink. I'm gonna get Gulf-fuckin'-war syndrome.
- Augustus Hill: [Night in Oz, and Beecher's on the top bunk] I swear Beecher, you need to go see a doctor, man. Smelly farts are a sign that something is seriously wrong on the inside.
- Tobias 'Toby' Beecher: [emphatically] I didn't fart.
- [rips an egger after a pause]
- Augustus Hill: Aw, fuck, man!
- [Beecher giggles maliciously]
- Augustus Hill: Them Aztecs, they had this kid, Montezuma the Second. That's the "Halls of Montezuma" guy. One night Montezuma saw this flaming ear of corn shoot across the sky. A comet. Montezuma saw this comet as an omen, the sign of his own downfall. So he surrendered his empire to the Spanish conquistadors without a fight. Stupid fuck! You gotta fight! Even if you know you're gonna lose!