David Mitchell credited as playing...
Mark Corrigan
- [about Big Suze]
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] God, she's so posh, that I, Mark Corrigan, who was privately educated until dad's British Aerospace shares went kaput, could be her bit of rough.
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Great... OK, so I've dumped my sister. That's great, that feels good. I'm intrigued to see what I'm gonna do next, maybe I'll ring up Grandad and tell him I think he's a boring twat.
- [Big Suze is staying in Mark's room and she invites Mark to sleep in the bed with her]
- Big Suze: Do you know what you are, Mark? A big, cuddly grouch ball. It's like sharing a bed with Fozzie Bear or Oscar the Grouch.
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Maybe something could happen. In the same bed, human nature might take its course.
- Big Suze: You're kind of like a modern-day eunuch, aren't you, Mark?
- Mark Corrigan: Yes, I suppose so.
- [as Mark starts jogging]
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Hey! Wow, I'm actually good at this! Maybe I'm a natural. Yeah, I'm a jogger. Of course! There had to be a sport for me, I just never realised. I'm a natural jogger. Feel the legs like two great steam locomotives, pumping away. I'm Cram, I'm Ovett, I'm unstoppable, I'm... Jesus, is that a stitch? I... Fuck, I think I'm going to be sick, I've got to... slow. I need to... walk.
- [he stops running and starts wheezing and coughing]
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Urgh! I think I'm going to puke. I am literally going to die. What an idiotic boob I was back 10 or 11 seconds ago.
- Big Suze: You don't, do you, have feelings for me, Mark?
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] This is it. Go for it. Tell her. Betray Sophie, destroy Jeremy.
- [to Big Suze]
- Mark Corrigan: No. God, no, as you know, I'm in love with Sophie.
- Big Suze: Right. Because I thought...
- Mark Corrigan: Honestly, Suze, I like you, sort of, but not even really that much. I mean, you're very, you know... horsey. You're the horsey type. Not that I've got a chip on my shoulder, but you're sort of a throwback, a kind of a Marie Antoinette figure. Let them eat cake. Not that she ever said that, it's a mistranslation, but... you know, big, stupid posh-head, that's you.