David Suchet credited as playing...
Hercule Poirot
- Captain Hastings: Miss Lemon says he makes pies.
- Hercule Poirot: Makes pies! Hastings, to say that Benedict Farley makes pies is like saying that... Wagner wrote semi-quavers.
- Captain Hastings: Oh, they're good pies, are they?
- Hercule Poirot: No, horrible. But there are a great many of them.
- [last lines]
- Hercule Poirot: Hastings, there are two reasons why I should never become the millionaire.
- Captain Hastings: What are they, Poirot?
- Hercule Poirot: The first: that I should never make the detestable pork pies, hein? And the second: I am too understanding towards my employees.
- Captain Hastings: Quite.
- Captain Hastings: Useful, eh, living above the shop? I suppose from here, Farley likes to keep an eye on his employees.
- Hercule Poirot: No doubt. But it is a pity that such diligence does not improve the quality of his so-called delectables.
- Hercule Poirot: Hastings, to say that Benedict Farley make spies is like saying that Wagner wrote semiquavers.
- Captain Hastings: Well, they're good pies, then?
- Hercule Poirot: No. Horrible! But there are a great many of them.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, I see. So, when Hercule Poirot is concerned, there arises immediately a suspicion of murder?
- Chief Inspector Japp: Precisely.
- Captain Hastings: This is not like you, Poirot.
- Hercule Poirot: But this is not like the grey cells, Hastings. I have given them every chance. They have been closeted. I have slept to allow them to do their work. I have eaten fish for breakfast. Result? Nothing!
- Captain Hastings: It'll come, Poirot. The little grey cells have never let you down yet.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, but is this not an indication, perhaps, of what is in store? A sign that they are weakened by old age and the fast living?
- Captain Hastings: Fast living, Poirot? I wouldn't call your life exactly fast.
- Hercule Poirot: Oh, not now, perhaps, Hastings, but in my youth.
- Captain Hastings: Really?
- Hercule Poirot: Umm.
- [Shakes his head]
- Captain Hastings: Really?
- Hercule Poirot: See, one pays, Hastings. Eventually, one is called to settle one's account.
- Captain Hastings: I say.
- Hercule Poirot: I shall have another tisane.
- Miss Lemon: Mr. Poirot, I... what is it, Mr. Poirot?
- Hercule Poirot: Another tisane if you please, Miss Lemon.
- Miss Lemon: Oh dear, you had your 9-o'clock-one.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, serious measures are called for, Miss Lemon.