Craig Charles credited as playing...
Lister
- Rimmer: I know that, emotionally speaking, this isn't the news you want to hear right now. But there's a blob on the sonar scope the size of New Mexico and it's heading your way.
- Holly: I think our friend the Suicide Squid is about to put in an appearance.
- Kryten: Where is it, precisely?
- Rimmer: Directly above you. 2,000 fathoms and diving.
- Lister: Oh, thanks a lot, Rimmer. You know the state we're in and you have to go and give us news like that. You couldn't have *lied*?
- Rimmer: I *was* lying. It's only 1,000 fathoms.
- [a giant squid is approaching Starbug]
- Lister: It's got three alternatives - it thinks we're either a threat, food or mate. It's either gonna kill us, eat us or hump us. Either we try to persuade it that we're not *that* kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or we scarper pronto.
- The Cat: And be diddled by a squid on a first date? Think of how I would be in the morning!
- Lister: I'm not Lister then? I'm not me, am I?
- Kryten: None of us are who we thought we were, sir. This is going to take some getting used to.
- Rimmer: I'm not Rimmer, then?
- Kryten: No.
- Rimmer: I'm not a hologram. I'm not Rimmer.
- The Cat: Well, if we're not who we thought we were, who the hell are we?
- Lister: Some kind of sad acts who want to spend four years playing a computer game. Either running away from God knows what, or had nothing worth living for in the first place.
- Lister: Why would a haddock kill itself?... Why am I even asking that question?
- The Cat: Hold it - hang five guys, I'm gettin' somethin'. Now, he committed suicide, he committed suicide, he committed suicide and the fish committed suicide - there's some kind of link here that I can't quite put my finger on...
- [Lister-Sebastian and Kryten-Jake see two propaganda posters]
- Sebastian Doyle: [reading] "Vote Fascist for a Third Glorious Decade of Total Law Enforcement"?
- Jake Bullet: [reading] "Be a Government Informer. Betray Your Family & Friends. Fabulous Prizes to be Won"?
- Cop: [to Sebastian-Lister] Come out of the shadows, Voter.
- Sebastian Doyle: What's the beef? Did she steal your lunch box?
- Cop: M... mm... many apologies, Voter Colonel.
- Sebastian Doyle: You know me?
- Cop: Of course, Voter Colonel.
- Sebastian Doyle: Who am I?
- Cop: You are Colonel Sebastian Doyle, Section Chief of CGI, Head of the Ministry of Alteration.
- Sebastian Doyle: Remind me a little: what do we do at the Ministry of Alteration?
- Cop: You... change people, Sir.
- Sebastian Doyle: In what way?
- Cop: You change them from being alive people, to being dead people. To purify Democracy.
- Billy Doyle: Purify?
- Cop: [proudly] No one has done more to purge the ballot boxes than the Voter Colonel.
- Duane Dibbley: So why has he been away for 4 years then?
- Cop: Excuse me, Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?
- Sebastian Doyle: Answer him.
- Cop: The rumour was that you had grown weary of your glorious duties and had gone away in secret to renew yourself.