Ray Stevenson: Titus Pullo

Caesarion

Titus Pullo

Titus Pullo: [about Princess Cleopatra] That Gyppo princess, now that's good cunny.
Lucius Vorenus: Her father's people rode with Alexander, you can't speak of her like that.
Titus Pullo: She is, though. And she wants me badly.
[Vorenus laughs]
Titus Pullo: Should've seen her when I done that Nubian. Wet as October
[sniggers]
Lucius Vorenus: Pullo, look at me. She is a princess of royal blood. You touch her, you die.
Titus Pullo: I'm not stupid. I'm just saying she wants me.

[Vorenus is commanded to see Cleopatra]
Charmian: Majesty commands you will enter her.
Lucius Vorenus: I do not understand.
Charmian: You have coitus with her.
Lucius Vorenus: [Aghast] You have it wrong. Coitus means to make babies!
Charmian: Exact! So, make babies.
[Cleopatra spreads her legs in anticipation]
Charmian: Don't be scared.
[the female slave starts to undress him]
Lucius Vorenus: I'm not scared. I just cannot do what you ask. It is not... it is not in our custom. Roman men are not used by women in this way.
Charmian: Come. You will enjoy it. My queen is an excellent lover.
[Cleopatra starts touching Vorenus with her foot, going from his chest to his crotch]
Charmian: [Vorenus is in doubt. Then he mounts her, but hesitates and steps back]
Cleopatra: What is he waiting for? He must do as he is told!
Charmian: Let me give you a hand.
Lucius Vorenus: [Shakes the slaves off of him] Get off! I must ask forgiveness of Your Majesty, but I cannot comply! I am no slave to be commanded so! With all respect...
Cleopatra: He *refuses*? This... insect refuses *me*?
Charmian: You dare refuse the daughter of a sun god?
[Vorenus turns around and storms out of Cleopatra's tent towards Pullo]
Lucius Vorenus: Pullo, report immediately to Princess Cleopatra and do as she says!
Titus Pullo: Eh?
Lucius Vorenus: You heard!
Titus Pullo: What's going on?
Lucius Vorenus: Just go!

[while searching for Cleopatra in the desert]
Titus Pullo: Blood and fire! It's as hot as Vulcan's dick! What a dump. Gyppo gods must be right wasters to make a place like this.
Lucius Vorenus: Don't speak ill of the gods in their own country.
Titus Pullo: Gerrae. I've seen their gods. Titus Pullo isn't scared of any bastard with a dog's head on him.
Lucius Vorenus: More fool you. These gods are old and powerful. Egypt was a great nation long before Rome.
Titus Pullo: Was it? Mumped it up now, then, haven't they?

[Repeatedly stabs the Nubian; slows stabbing rate until he stops. Looks around at the two women]
Titus Pullo: [Calmly] Hello, ladies.

[after Pullo has been ordered to have sex with Cleopatra]
Titus Pullo: [sighs] Gods, that was something...
Lucius Vorenus: Don't want to know! If you value your life, you won't speak of it again.
Titus Pullo: Why? I was only obeying orders. Bloody good orders, too.