Nick Bakay credited as playing...
Salem Saberhagen
- Sabrina Spellman: Ah, is it time for Salem to be wormed again?
- Salem Saberhagen: No, worse. I have to do community service.
- Zelda Spellman: It's part of his punishment for attempting global conquest.
- Salem Saberhagen: As if being a cat for a hundred years wasn't enough, Zelda had to put me in a pets for prisoners program.
- Zelda Spellman: I gave you a choice, you could have done highway cleanup.
- Salem Saberhagen: Yeah, cats do real well on highways.
- Zelda Spellman: Stop complaining and get your wormy little butt down stairs in 2 minutes. It's time to pay your debt to society.
- Salem Saberhagen: Can't I just write a cheque?
- Sabrina Spellman: I don't know what your problem is. It's nice to help people.
- Salem Saberhagen: And what nice things have you done lately?
- Sabrina Spellman: Me? I do nice things all the time.
- Salem Saberhagen: Really? Since you got your magical powers, all I've seen you do is change your clothes and make brussel sprouts disappear.
- Sabrina Spellman: That's not true and I'll prove it. I'll use my magic to do 3 nice things before the end of school today. Easy.
- Salem Saberhagen: Not so easy. Before you shoot your little finger off, you'd better consider the consequences or ter-rible things could happen.
- Sabrina Spellman: How was jail?
- Salem Saberhagen: Not bad, there's a guy in solitary convinced Alan Derchowitze appeared to him as a talking cat. I told him I'd call the governor and plead his innocence.
- Sabrina Spellman: See? I told you it was nice to help people.
- Salem Saberhagen: Are you kidding? I'm not calling.