Paul Feig credited as playing...
Mr. Eugene Pool
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Sorry, I'm late but my car broke down. I made the mistake of trying to go uphill in my AMC Gremlin.
- Harvey Kinkle: Why don't you just get a better car, Mr. Pool?
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Like a Ferrari? Sure, you know what, I'm going to run right out after class and buy one, and I'll pay for it with frustration.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Now that I'm rich I have a reason to live.
- Sabrina Spellman: So are you happy?
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Oh, I'll say. Well, it gives me the freedom to teach science without anger and resentment. I can now teach for the pure joy of teaching.
- Sabrina Spellman: Do you have a minute?
- Mr. Eugene Pool: Yes, a lifetime of them and now they're going by very slowly.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: [his tattered old briefcase bursting open strewing papers all over the floor] What a mess!
- Sabrina Spellman: It's just a bunch of papers.
- Mr. Eugene Pool: No, my life!