Sarah Chalke credited as playing...
Dr. Elliot Reid
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [leaving a patient's room after giving her an orgasm during a pelvic exam] Let's go Sean.
- J.D.: Shouldn't you buy her breakfast first?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: I honestly don't mind that you're making fun of me but what does bother me is that no one is ever allowed to make fun of you.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: People can make fun of me.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [scoffs] Come on, what about that delivery guy yesterday? I mean, you practically tore him a new binglebore.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: But he's not my friend. My friends can make fun of me whenever they want.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Really? Well in that case you're a know-it-all smartypants and if you're not telling someone what to do, you're probably not talking.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Okay, I guess I can be a little bossy.
- Nurse Laverne Roberts: A little? Girl, please. If you met Jesus hisself, you'd be trying to tell him where to park his donkey.
- J.D.: Oh, are we allowed to do this now? What about that whole like, hands on the hips Carla from the block thing she does when she's mad when she's like
- [imitating]
- J.D.: "oh Bambi, you do not want to mess with me right now."
- Dr. Doug Murphy: [laughs] You do sound like that.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: [with her hand on her hip] Careful, Doug, we are not that close yet.
- Dr. Elliot Reid, J.D.: [laughing and mocking] Careful, Doug. Doug, wussup. Doug, you better be careful. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I'm Carla.
- J.D.: [Elliot has just given a patient an orgasm during a pelvic exam]
- [laughing]
- J.D.: Elliot come on, I have never heard a woman make sounds like that!
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [grinning] Oh, I'm sure you haven't.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: [Turk starts laughing at him] See, it's funny because you've never really satisfied a woman!
- J.D.: Well, you might want to double-check with YOUR MOM!
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Mr. Murdock was admitted with a COPD exacerbation; he responded well to antibiotics and bronchial dilators but he did develop a rash on his, um... private area.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Sorry, on his what?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: His peepers.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Excuse me?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: His schwing-schwong.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Dr. Reid, it's bad enough you run out on a patient in the middle of a pelvic exam. But you are a doctor, and you need to be able to say simple clinical words like "penis," or "vagina," or "anal."
- Dr. Elliot Reid: "Anal" is not a dirty word, sir.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Tell that to my wife.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [Elliot is reluctantly strolling towards Sean] You have a... penis. And I...
- [forcing herself]
- Dr. Elliot Reid: ... have a vagina!
- Sean Kelly: [gets up] That is so hot.