Ken Jenkins credited as playing...
Dr. Bob Kelso
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Dammit, Perry, you're there to teach! If I wanted somebody to lay around all day and do nothing, I would've wheeled in a corpse... or my housekeeper, Rosalba.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Sooo, Ted! How is Professor Cox doing?
- Ted: Excellent, sir! And you know what else? I quit!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: No, you don't.
- Ted: Well, I'm leaving early today!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: No, you're coming back to my office and doing busy work!
- Ted: Fine. But I'm getting a soda first!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Whatever.
- [Dr. Kelso leaves, and Ted raises his arms over his head in victory]
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Now, listen up, nametags! Over fifty percent of our lawsuits can be traced back to poor patient-doctor communication. To that end, if any of you still feel the need to flap your babble holes, you will be joining me in my new daily seminar on doctor-patient relations. My first invitee will be Dr. Murphy, whom I recently overheard telling someone, Stop bleeding, stop bleeding, oh, God, please stop bleeding.
- Doug: It was a gusher!
- Ted: Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of the legal ramifications of all your teensy snafus.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Teensy snafus? Good God, Ted, it's not a Dr. Seuss story!