Sam Lloyd credited as playing...
Ted Buckland
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Sooo, Ted! How is Professor Cox doing?
- Ted: Excellent, sir! And you know what else? I quit!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: No, you don't.
- Ted: Well, I'm leaving early today!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: No, you're coming back to my office and doing busy work!
- Ted: Fine. But I'm getting a soda first!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Whatever.
- [Dr. Kelso leaves, and Ted raises his arms over his head in victory]
- Ted: See, Dr. Cox, this is, uh, the sort of hostile behavior that can cause us legal difficulty.
- Dr. Perry Cox: [whistles] Ted! I just might rip that tie off your neck and jam it down your esophagus.
- Ted: I think you proved at Nurse Roberts' above-ground pool party that that doesn't solve anything.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Captain Clip-On? Did you go ahead and tattle on me?
- Ted: Oh, please, with the shocked look. Newsflash -- I'm sterile!
- [Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso both look at him in odd surprise]
- Ted: I mean gutless!... My guys swim in circles. I--I think it's the bike-riding.
- Ted: Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of the legal ramifications of all your teensy snafus.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Teensy snafus? Good God, Ted, it's not a Dr. Seuss story!