Philip Baker Hall credited as playing...
Lt. Joe Bookman
- Lt. Bookman: Yeah '71, that was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.
- Lt. Bookman: Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again.
- Lt. Bookman: I remember when the librarian was a much older woman. Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't want to know anything about her private life.
- Jerry: [returning book] Any way, I hope there's no hard feelings.
- Lt. Bookman: Hard feelings, what do you know about hard feelings? Ever have a man die in your arms? Ever kill somebody?
- Jerry: What is your problem?
- Lt. Bookman: What's my problem, punks like you, that's my problem. And you better not screw up again Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a Pit Bull on a Poodle.
- [quit exit]
- Jerry: That is one tough monkey.