Julia Louis-Dreyfus credited as playing...
Elaine Benes
- Elaine Benes: [talking with Lippman and Testikow in the limo about "War and Peace"] Although one wonders if "War and Peace" would have been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under its original name "War: What Is It Good For?"
- Lippman: What?
- Elaine Benes: Yes, Mr. Lippman. It was his mistress who insisted he called it "War and Peace." "War - What Is It Good For"
- [singing]
- Elaine Benes: Absolutely nothin'!
- [speaking to Testikov]
- Elaine Benes: The song got that line got from Tolstoy.
- Lippman: I'm sorry. It's just her sense of humor.
- Jerry: [after Elaine mentions Tolstoy] Hey, you know what? I read the most unbelievable thing about Tolstoy the other day. Did you know the original title for "War and Peace" was "War - What Is It Good For?"
- Elaine Benes: Ha, ha.
- Jerry: No, no. I'm not kidding, Elaine. It's true. His mistress didn't like the title and insisted him change it to "War and Peace".
- Elaine Benes: But it's a line from that song.
- Jerry: That's were they got it from.
- Elaine Benes: Really?
- Jerry: I'm not joking.
- Jerry: [opening scene: In Jerry's apartment, Jerry is at the table and Elaine is on the phone] Elaine, see these t-shirts? Six years I've had this t-shirt. It's my best one. I call it... Golden Boy.
- Elaine Benes: I'm on the phone here.
- Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry. Here - touch Golden Boy!
- Elaine Benes: No, thanks.
- [to the phone]
- Elaine Benes: Yeah, yeah - I'll hold.
- Jerry: But, see - look at the collar. See, it's fraying; Golden Boy is slowly dying. Each wash brings him one step closer. That's what makes the t-shirt such a tragic figure.
- Elaine Benes: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some Woolite?
- Jerry: No! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays every game. Wash! Spin! Rinse! Spin! You take that away from him, you break his spirit!
- Elaine Benes: [Closing scene as they leave the restaurant] Are you in a bad mood?
- Jerry: No, I just got my laundry back.
- Elaine Benes: Ohhh. Golden Boy?
- Jerry: He didn't make it.
- Elaine Benes: I'm sorry.
- Jerry: This is Golden Boy's son, Baby Blue.
- [Elaine rolls her eyes]