Tim Allen credited as playing...
Tim Taylor
- Tim Taylor: I don't even remember what she looked like.
- Jill Taylor: Yeah, right.
- Tim Taylor: Well, that's my story and I'm sticking with it!
- Heidi Keppert: Welcome back to Tool Time with those Kings of the Can, the Lords of the Loo, those Thrill Seekers of the Throne, those Heroes of the Head, Those...
- Tim Taylor: Heidi!
- Heidi Keppert: Now here they are, those Princes of Porcelain, those Titans of the Toilet, those Jokers of the John, those Bad Boys of the Bowl...
- Tim Taylor: Heidi!
- Marty Taylor: I'm off to the job interview; wish me luck.
- Tim Taylor: You don't need luck; you're a Taylor.
- Jill Taylor: That's right; you need directions.
- Al Borland: The toilet on the space shuttle uses absolutely no water.
- Tim Taylor: Thank you Flush Gordon.
- Tim Taylor: It was like the first time that guy Buddha sold his first naked cheese.
- Jill Taylor: How can you feel anything but pity for a man like this?