Hugh Laurie credited as playing...
Dr. Gregory House
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I want to know how you feel... about me.
- Dr. Gregory House: You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect. That's why you married a man who was dying of cancer. You don't love, you need. And now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case. That's why you're going out with me. I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice. What I am is what you need... I'm damaged.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: According to Freud, and I'm paraphrasing, instinct of love toward an object demands a mastery to obtain it, and if a person feels they can't control the object or feel threatened by it, they act negatively toward it. Like an eighth-grade boy punching a girl.
- Dr. Gregory House: I treat you like garbage, so I must really like you. Given your Freudian theory, what does it mean if I start being nice to you?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: That you're getting in touch with your feelings.
- Dr. Gregory House: Hmm. So there's absolutely nothing I can do to make you think that I don't like you.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Sorry, no.
- Dr. Gregory House: Dr. Cameron, I'd appreciate you keeping the terms of your new contract to yourself. Don't want everyone clamoring for the same perks.
- Dr. Gregory House: [after finding out that Chase knows the patient's dominitrix, Annette] I wouldn't have tortured you if I knew you liked it.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Chase about sneaking a woman into the clinic who was barred] If you get caught, Cuddy's got a hairbrush... and believe me, she knows how to use it.
- New Guy: [chuckles] You dog! You slept with her!
- Dr. Gregory House: Keep talking. I'll finish your exam with a prostate check.
- Myron: My golf swing's all messed up.
- Dr. Gregory House: Hey, here's a radical thought--talk to her.
- Myron: The truth?
- Dr. Gregory House: Sounds crazy when you put it like that.
- Dr. Gregory House: [bumps into a guy carrying an open container; gets splashed] Who the hell walks around with an open urine sample!