Hugh Laurie credited as playing...
Dr. Gregory House
- Dr. Gregory House: [clinic patient is unaware she is pregnant; House tells her she has a parasite] Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites.
- Jill: Playdates?
- Dr. Gregory House: [shows her the ultrasound] It has your eyes.
- Dr. James Wilson: I'm still amazed you're actually in the same room with a patient.
- Dr. Gregory House: People don't bug me until they get teeth.
- Dr. Gregory House: Get up. We're going hunting.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: For what?
- Dr. Gregory House: Wabbits.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Needle in a haystack.
- Dr. Gregory House: It's worse than that. We don't even know it's a needle we're looking for.
- Dr. Gregory House: How's Cameron?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Dr. Cameron?
- Dr. Gregory House: Sure. Let's start with her and then move on to all the other Camerons we know.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I'm sorry. I'm just not used to you asking about someone's well-being.
- Dr. Gregory House: I can understand how the question would surprise you. I didn't quite get how it would confuse you.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Why do you wanna know?
- Dr. Gregory House: Why do you wanna know why I wanna know?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Just... curious.
- Dr. Gregory House: Me, too.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: You don't get curious.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm the most curious man in the world.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Not about trivialities.
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, then, this must not be trivial.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Two sick babies is very sad, but it doesn't prove an epidemic.
- Dr. Gregory House: How many do?
- Hospital Attorney: My job is to protect this hospital. So I strongly advise you to come up with a medical rationale why Baby A should get medicine X, and vice versa.
- Dr. Gregory House: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on there slick. We didn't all go to law school. Your advice is that I should use medical reasons to make medical decisions? Mm, that's not gonna be as easy...
- Hospital Attorney: Any medical justification. Doesn't need to be a good one.
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, Hartig sounds Jewish, so does Aztreonam. So we'll take the Hartig kids off Vancomycin. How's that?
- [last lines]
- Dr. Lim: [entering] Hey, seriously man, you're not supposed to be here.
- Dr. Gregory House: [slouched in a lounge chair] I'm performing a delivery.
- Dr. Kubisak: You are?
- Dr. Gregory House: A patient whose prenatal care I've been handling. Just took her on a couple minutes ago. Of course, I'll need one of you two guys to supervise.
- Dr. Lim: When is she due?
- Dr. Gregory House: Late March.
- Dr. Kubisak: That's five months from now.
- Dr. Gregory House: [big grin] Thank God these chairs are comfortable.