Hugh Laurie credited as playing...
Dr. Gregory House
- Dr. Gregory House: [to the Senator] Some day there will be a black president. Some day there will be a gay president. Maybe there will even be a gay, black president. But one combination I do not see happening is gay, black, and dead. You need to stop lying to me.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Why do you have to make everything so dramatic?
- Dr. Gregory House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog. Ruff ruff ruff, rarr, ruff!
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [giving differential diagnosis] Idiopathic T-cell deficiency?
- Dr. Gregory House: "Idiopathic", from the Latin, meaning we're idiots 'cause we can't figure out what's causing it.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron] Just trying to figure out what makes you tick. I am not warm and fuzzy and you are basically a stuffed animal made by grandma.
- Senator Gary H. Wright: No, don't get excited he's right I uh, I won't win.
- Dr. Gregory House: Then why run?
- Senator Gary H. Wright: Oh I see your point being the only way to make a difference is to win every fight.
- Sarah (clinic patient): I haven't had sex since I split up with my husband. That was almost a year ago.
- Dr. Gregory House: Fine, have it your way. Immaculate conception.
- Sarah (clinic patient): Um, what do I do?
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, it's obvious. Start a religion.
- Senator Gary H. Wright: You, ah, a Republican, or you just hate all politicians?
- Dr. Gregory House: I just find being forced to sit though drivel annoying.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Dr. Chase] What, you've got her on speed dial?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, I just followed the scent of arrogance.