Lucille Ball credited as playing...
Lucy Ricardo
- Lucy Ricardo: [reading from the newspaper] 'Phoebe Emerson Charm School. What is your C.Q?' That means Charm Quotient. 'Come in and let us give you a free analysis.' You and I are going down there, Ethel.
- Ethel Mertz: We are? Oh, I don't think we...
- Lucy Ricardo: Well, honey, we can't go wrong with a free analysis.
- Ethel Mertz: That's right. Do you think they could make a glamor girl out of me?
- Lucy Ricardo: Sure, it says right here, 'We work miracles.'
- Phoebe Emerson: [Miss Emerson evaluates Ethel during the initial interview at the charm school] Your skin's not bad. Not bad at all.
- Ethel Mertz: Thank you.
- Phoebe Emerson: You're very well preserved. And your makeup is adequate.
- Phoebe Emerson: [she then gives Lucy the once-over] Do you always use that color powder? Oh, I don't mean it the way it sounds, of course, it's just that here we strive for a fresh, natural look, and that powder gives you a weird, very unnatural look. You know what I mean, of course.
- Lucy Ricardo: I'm not wearing powder.
- Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy, dressed in a stunning, skin-tight evening gown prances into the room, showing off her new glamorous look] May I have a light, please? Thanks awfully, darling.
- Ricky Ricardo: Who is that?
- Fred Mertz: It looks like Lucy.
- Ricky Ricardo: Lucy?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yes, dah-ling?
- Ricky Ricardo: It is Lucy.
- Fred Mertz: Well, what do you know.
- Lucy Ricardo: [Door buzzer sounds] That must be my dear friend, Ethel. Please Fred, I'll open the door.
- Fred Mertz: Open it? I was going to LOCK it!
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh my dear fellow. You have such a refreshing wit.
- [Opens door]
- Ethel Mertz: [Ethel strolls in, dressed in a tight leopard skin evening gown] I hope I didn't hold up the party.
- Lucy Ricardo: Not at all, darling. Do come in.
- Ricky Ricardo: [Can't believe his eyes regarding Ethel's transformation] Who's that?
- Fred Mertz: Who's that? WHAT'S that?
- Lucy Ricardo: [at Lucy's dinner party] See what I mean? Women in one room, men in the other.
- Ethel Mertz: Well?
- Lucy Ricardo: What do you mean, 'Well'. Why does it have to be that way? Why aren't we all in here, talking together? Give me one good reason.
- Ethel Mertz: We're married.
- Lucy Ricardo: Does that mean that we have to go to parties and separate, like the sheep from the goats?
- Louann Hall: Well, we like talking about babies and clothes and recipes, and they like to talk about sports and politics. We're interested in different things.
- Ethel Mertz: Sure. Just 'cause we're married to men doesn't mean we've got anything in common.