James Lipton credited as playing...
Self - Host
- Host: What's your favorite word?
- Robin Williams: Cloaca. It's a real word. It exists because it's, uh, only certain bugs have it. It's a combination asshole and vagina. Next to that I think "abbondanza" is a great word.
- Host: What's your least favorite word?
- Robin Williams: Cunt. Least favorite word because it's so negative. It's the one word that'll get me kicked out of the house. I once let it fly, it was like
- [mimes door slam and makes noise]
- Robin Williams: , okay, that was it, bye, bye-bye.
- Host: What turns you on?
- Robin Williams: My wife's laugh. It's incredible.
- [audience goes "awwww"]
- Robin Williams: That noise, "awwww". But yeah, it's quite wonderful.
- Host: What turns you off?
- Robin Williams: Violence towards children.
- Host: What sound or noise do you love?
- Robin Williams: [makes fart sound] Because it's musical, it could be anything. It's the most humanizing noise. To know that even the Pope could be going "Quanda la giura..."
- [makes fart sound]
- Robin Williams: And that's when the bring out the smoke, you know.
- [mimes swinging censer, says phony Italian words]
- Host: What sound or noise do you hate?
- Robin Williams: Screeching of brakes. Because it usually implies something is gonna happen.
- Host: What's your favorite curse word?
- Robin Williams: It's my favorite because I'm a big fan. Pussy.
- Host: What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
- Robin Williams: Neurologist or theoretical physicist. Those are the people I kinda admire.
- Host: What profession would you not like to participate in?
- Robin Williams: Bomb tester.
- Host: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
- Robin Williams: "There's seating near the front. The concert begins at 5. It'll be Mozart, Elvis, and one of your choosing." Or just nice, if heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that'd be a great thing. Just to hear God go, "Two Jews walk into a bar...".
- Host: What's your middle name?
- Robin Williams: McLaurin. That's Irish.
- Host: It is Irish.
- Robin Williams: Ya, and then I'm also Welsh, which means every so often I have to occupy myself.
- Host: What brought you from Chicago to Detroit?
- [in the meaning of WHY did you move from Chicago to Detroit]
- Robin Williams: A plane.
- Robin Williams: My mother was a Christian Dior Scientist. She was very... she was really the kinda part of my whole comedy upbringing.
- Host: What about your dad?
- Robin Williams: Oh, very elegant man.
- Host: Very elegant?
- Robin Williams: Yeah, very kinda reserved, except after a couple of cocktails. He'd go, you know, very happy. Not like "Wo-hoo, look who's on the table!" No, he would: "What? Do you want a car?" I'm 5. "OK!"