Jack Benny credited as playing...
Jack Benny
- Jack Benny: Boy, I could sure use a massage. You know, these television shows - they're hard work.
- Rochester Van Jones: Yeah, it's tough on both of us.
- Jack Benny: What do you mean "both of us"?
- Rochester Van Jones: Boss, you only tell the jokes. I have to sit out there and laugh at 'em.
- Jack Benny: How'd you like the orchestra?
- Don Wilson: Well, the brass section was a little flat, trombones and saxophones were playing two different tunes at the same time, the rhythm section was a little off beat.
- Jack Benny: Yeah, I thought they were better than usual, too. You know, Don, there's one thing that worries me about that orchestra. You take Remley, his guitar playing has been getting worse every week.
- Don Wilson: Well, Jack, it's really not Frankie's fault. About three weeks ago, he burned his hand trying to save a friend.
- Jack Benny: No kidding.
- Don Wilson: Yeah. Imagine him, trying to pull someone off the electric chair.
- Jack Benny: You know, this place is always been so nice and quiet. I mean, why is it so crowded tonight.
- Monsieur Michel: Ah, tonight is a special occasion. It's the reunion of the Société des L'égout travailleur de Paris.
- Jack Benny: What society is that?
- Monsieur Michel: The sewer workers of Paris.
- Gertrude, switchboard operator: Boy, did they pick the right place.
- Jack Benny: Are you the masseur?
- Masseur: No, I'm just carrying this folding table in case I find three people who want to play bridge.