Kevin James credited as playing...
Doug Heffernan
- Deacon Palmer: Here's your suit, man.
- Doug Heffernan: Oh, thanks for picking it up - that's the only way I could make it to the party on time. Have you got anything to eat? I'm starving, I haven't had anything to eat all day!
- Deacon Palmer: No, sorry.
- Doug Heffernan: What's that you're chewing?
- Deacon Palmer: Stick of gum.
- Doug Heffernan: How long you been chewing it?
- Deacon Palmer: Does it MATTER?
- Carrie Heffernan: Thanks for coming tonight. How's your stomach feeling?
- Doug Heffernan: Scared. And a little hurt.
- Carrie Heffernan: Well, as soon as we get home, I will make you something to settle it.
- Doug Heffernan: Like, maybe, a couple of pieces of toast... And maybe some cheese and salami between them...
- Doug Heffernan: [Looking in the refrigerator] What happened to all the milk?
- Arthur Spooner: You should know, I've decided to start each day with a healthy smoothy.
- Doug Heffernan: But I wanted to eat cereal...
- Arthur Spooner: I probably won't use all this milk - use some of it.
- [Hands Doug the blender]
- Doug Heffernan: Ok, thanks.
- Arthur Spooner: You should know, I've already added the bean curd and the Dulcolax.