Larry Linville credited as playing...
Maj. Frank Burns
- Col. Potter: [On the rumor of a bug out] Crock of beans!
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: You called me, Colonel?
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: Hey you - that watch you sold me runs backwards!
- Cho Man Chin: Try other wrist!
- [So Frank does!]
- Maj. Burns: You sent for me, sir?
- Col. Potter: Where have you been?
- Maj. Burns: When you sent for me, I thought you were kidding.
- Col. Potter: I don't kid, skeezix. I called you to put you in charge of this bug-out.
- Maj. Burns: Me?
- Col. Potter: No choice, you're second-in-command.
- Maj. Burns: Hot diggity dog!
- Col. Potter: I'm going up in the chopper to scout a new location. You ever bugged out before?
- Maj. Burns: Oh, no sir, not intentionally. Is this a drill, colonel?
- Col. Potter: No, it's the real McCoy. Keep an eye on the patients. Sometimes we lose them on these moves.
- Maj. Burns: A human life is more important than a kitchen stove.
- Col. Potter: Don't recite, listen. Load in this order:
- [Frank takes out a notepad]
- Col. Potter: 1 - pharmacy, 2 - lab, 3 - x-ray, 4 - pre-op, 5 - OR following the last stitch, 6 - HQ, 7 - mess tent, 8 - post-op.
- Maj. Burns: [writing] One - pharmacy...
- Col. Potter: Saddle up!
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: It's top secret. We don't want the enlisted personnel to know we're retreating.
- Hawkeye: Why? Aren't they invited?
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: [witnessing an enlisted man carelessly throwing a stack of toilet seats into a truck] If I get slivers, I'll have your stripes.
- Enlisted Man: I'm a private.
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: Don't pull rank on me.