Larry Linville credited as playing...
Maj. Frank Burns
- Lt. Col. Henry Blake: Pierce, in recognition of your outstanding service and dedication and as a token of our appreciation, this scroll has been signed by every member of the 4077th.
- [holds up a roll of toilet paper]
- Lt. Col. Henry Blake: .
- Hawkeye: That really hits me where I live. Thanks.
- Maj. Frank Burns: Nice going, buddy!
- Hawkeye: I'll never be able to look at this without thinking of you, Frank.
- Margaret: You were superb.
- Hawkeye: Thanks, Chief.
- Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: [in white coat, acting like a doctor] All right, people, let's break it up. I ordered bed rest for this patient.
- Margaret: I have to go now, Frank, but I'll be back.
- Maj. Frank Burns: Goodbye, Nancy.
- Margaret: Nancy?
- Maj. Frank Burns: You're the best receptionist I ever had.
- Margaret: Frank!
- Maj. Frank Burns: Honestly, Louise, we had to work late.
- Margaret: Frank, I'm in command now. I can get a lot of things changed, the way we want them.
- Maj. Frank Burns: That's terrific, Louise.
- Margaret: Louise? That's your wife.
- Maj. Frank Burns: Where? Where?
- Margaret: Frank, we're in Korea.
- Maj. Frank Burns: Oh. Oh good. She'll never find us.